After the man discovered his wife had cheated on him, and his youngest child wasn’t his, he divorced his wife. But now his ex wants him to pay for the child’s college fees and he is refusing. Here is what he had to say:
His Wife Cheated On Him
The man explained, “I legally have three children with my ex, Adam (23 years old), Chris (21 years old), and Sophie (18 years old). Biologically the first two children are mine and the youngest is the result of my wife’s infidelity. I discovered this the day when Sophie was two-years-old and we had to rush Sophie to the emergency room. I filed for divorce two months later.”
She Had A Child With Another Man
Although he got 50/50 custody of his sons, he was legally obligated to pay child support for Sophie. This left him feeling bitter and resentful, but he decided to accept it to save himself from the stress.
He Didn’t Want To Take Responsibility
However, he made it clear to his ex that he would not take any other responsibility for Sophie and would not act as her father, though he would remain polite to her. After some time, he remarried a wonderful woman who had a daughter, Katie (17 years old), from a previous relationship.
He Built A New Life For Himself
He embraced his role as a stepfather and made an effort to be there for Katie. In the process, he created a happy family life for himself. He supported his sons through school, paid for their apartments and cars, and spent quality time with them. However, he did not financially support Sophie beyond the required child support.
His Ex Wanted Him To Support Sophie Financially
When his son Chris was about to graduate, the man posted on social media about looking forward to putting only one more kid through school. His ex then messaged him, asking him to pay for Sophie’s college expenses since money was tight due to the pandemic.
But He Refused To
The man messaged back and said he was referring to putting Katie through college, not Sophie. He reiterated that he had no legal obligation to support her financially now that she was over eighteen, and that he was not her father and as such he didn’t feel a personal obligation to support her either.
The man explained what happened next, “My ex was furious and demanded to know why I was willing to pay for Katie and not Sophie since neither of them are related to me. I countered by saying that I knew upfront Katie wasn’t my biological child and agreed to care for her instead of being conned into doing it like I was for Sophie.”
Sophie Was Upset
Sophie later called him, expressing her hurt feelings and asking why he hated her and excluded her. He reassured her that he didn’t hate her, but he couldn’t act as her father. He said it wasn’t personal – he simply wasn’t her biological father.
Was The Man In The Wrong?
Subsequently, his sons told him that Sophie was becoming increasingly depressed, and his ex blamed him for the situation. However, he doesn’t believe he has anything to do with Sophie’s feelings. Now he wonders if he’s in the wrong for not financially supporting Sophie’s college education.
The Internet Responded
One person said, “Your Ex committed paternity fraud and wanted you to pay for it. You did child support because she didn’t bother to track down the father. Now she wants you to pay for college because she didn’t bother to save up money/college fund and did not find another guy to marry/get on the hook. Sophie isn’t your child. You haven’t played the father role in her life since she was 2 years old, so it’s not like she has substantial memories of you as her dad! This is purely about money.”
Another Person Commented
“Wow, she asked you to pay for all of it too. It sounds like you made it clear from the start that you would fulfill your legal obligations and nothing more, that means your ex has had 16 years to plan for this situation and still turned around and asked you to pay for the whole thing.”
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