A 35-year-old man and his high school sweetheart divorced after she postponed having children and later faced infertility issues. Subsequently, the man found love with someone else, and she became pregnant. He then faced accusations of insensitivity at his High school reunion. Here is what he had to say:
They Had A Happy Relationship
The man explained, “I used to be married to my high school sweetheart ‘Kelly’. We got married after undergrad and overall I would say that we were really happy. The biggest conflict that I would say we had was the topic of children. Not the idea of actually having them but when.”
But Disagreed Over When To Have Children
The man wanted to have children soon, but Kelly believed they should focus on getting married, becoming financially independent, and reducing their debts before starting a family.
He Made Sacrifices
The man dedicated five years to a job he didn’t love because it came with a big paycheck and they were able to nearly pay off all their debts. They bought a house, as Kelly wanted, but then she said she wanted to go to graduate school.
Although they often argued about when to have children, the man supported Kelly’s decisions because he didn’t want her to resent him. He sometimes wondered whether Kelly had changed her mind about kids, but she assured him she still wanted them, just not at that moment.
Things Reached a Breaking Point
Then after experiencing weeks of poor health, Kelly received a diagnosis that meant she was unable to conceive. The man felt conflicted and harbored some resentment toward Kelly for not agreeing to have children earlier. This resentment grew when Kelly refused to consider the option of using a surrogate, insisting that they both be biological parents or neither at all.
Eventually, he made the difficult decision to divorce her. The man explained, “A lot of people called me selfish, sexist, misogynistic, etc but I just wasn’t sure if being a father was something that I would be able to truly let go of.”
He Met Someone Else
He later met Angela, who has 32 years old, and they fell in love. They moved in together and Angela became pregnant, bringing them great joy.
A Friend Planned A Reunion
Years later, a college friend returned to the United States and planned a small gathering to reconnect with old friends. The man and Kelly both received invitations, so he checked with the friend to ensure it was okay to bring his wife, and his friend said it was.
Was he In The Wrong?
However, the following day, he was bombarded with texts criticizing him for parading his younger, pregnant wife in front of his infertile ex-wife. He had no ill intentions and had confirmed the situation beforehand.
The Internet Responded
One person said, “You divorced, it doesn’t sound like you messed her over in it, and you each have your own lives now. She should have known having kids was important to you since that was obviously a wedge issue in your relationship with her, so she shouldn’t have been shocked that you went on to achieve that goal. Also, 32 is essentially the same age as 35. It’s not like you showed up with a pregnant 20 y/o.”
Another person said, “It’s sad that Kelly is infertile but you didn’t bring your wife to rub her infertility in her face. You reached out to your friend and you got the okay. Just block anyone sending you nasty texts.”
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