A Man Hadn’t Learnt to Care for His Daughter’s Curly Hair so He Had the Preschool Teacher Do It, Now His Ex-Wife Is Accusing Him of Being Disinterested

A man had recently gone through a divorce and shared custody of his 3-year-old daughter. He now has her every other week, and he’s responsible for taking care of her during that time.

Curly Hair Care Challenge

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His daughter had curly hair, and during his marriage, his ex-wife used to take care of her hair. However, the man wrote ‘Now that I’m alone with her half the time, I have to figure it out. I try but on my weeks her hair was mostly a frizzy, tangled mess.”

Seeking Help From Daycare Teacher

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He approached one of his daughter’s daycare teachers, who also has curly hair similar to his daughter’s, and asked for help with managing her hair. 

The Teacher Agreed

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The teacher agreed to assist him by doing the girl’s hair in the mornings before daycare, provided he dropped her off a bit earlier.

Further Assistance 

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In addition to helping with her hair, the teacher also offered further help with products that the father could apply from home. ‘She gave me a list of curly hair products to buy and what to bring to school. She also gave me some tips for washing and caring for it at home.”

Misunderstanding With Ex-Wife

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His daughter mentioned to her mother (the man’s ex-wife) that her teacher does her hair, which led to his ex-wife exploding in anger. The man said, “My ex called me and asked if I really drop her off a half hour early every morning just so I could “avoid doing her hair”.

Harsh Accusations

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Despite the man’s attempts to explain he was only trying to get help, harsh accusations kept coming. The wife said that he was “relying on a teacher to do his job” and “messing up the morning routine so we could get to school early enough for the teacher to do her hair”.

Seeking Validation

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After experiencing his ex-wife’s fury, the man became confused as to whether he was in the wrong for having the teacher help with his daughter’s hair. 

Doing The Right Thing

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Despite having second thoughts, the man still felt like he was doing the right thing. He was stepping out of his comfort zone and seeking help to ensure her hair was cared for.

Learning To Deal With Curls  

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Since the argument with his ex-wife, the man has been learning how to care for his daughter’s hair, claiming that it’s healthier than it was when he first started. He also highlighted that his ex-wife wasn’t willing to teach him how to care for her hair during their marriage or after their divorce.

Seeking Guidance

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The man became concerned about his ex-wife’s reaction, seeking advice on an online forum. One reader defended him: “If the teacher doesn’t mind doing it, then I don’t see an issue”.

Unfair On The Teacher

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However, such positive comments were few and far between, and most commenters were critical of the man. One justified their frustration: “That teacher has enough to do without having to be a hairdresser as well. I think her advice on products and techniques was a gentle hint that you need to learn how to do it yourself. Step up.”

Get Help From a Specialist

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The opinion that the man should learn to do his daughter’s hair alone was widespread. “Why don’t you take your child to a salon specializing in her hair type and learn how to do it yourself, rather than offloading it to someone else because you can’t be bothered learning basic skills for your own kid”, one person criticized. 

Too Little, Too Late

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Perhaps the most negative comment in the thread came from somebody who claimed the man’s efforts were too little too late. “You should have been involved in doing her hair while still with her mother to begin with”, they accused. “Learn to do your kid’s hair and stop relying on women to do your job as a parent.”

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