A man grew frustrated with the cost of supporting his wife’s disabled sister, so he took an extreme step that left people on the internet criticizing him. Here’s what he had to say:
His Wife Had a Disabled Sister
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The man said, “My wife of 5 years who is 25 years old, has a sister, who is 20 years old. She’s somewhat disabled, and while this may sound contradictory she has a condition which makes working difficult but not entirely impossible unless she is under stress (neurological condition, loses muscle control, makes her hit/throw stuff, fall over).”
But The Man Felt She Was a Financial Burden
The man explained that his wife’s sister relied on her heavily for support. The man liked the sister, and he said: “She is sweet and nice to have around, my wife loves her more than anything.” However, the man was becoming increasingly frustrated with the financial burden placed on them by supporting the sister.
He Felt Overwhelmed
The man understood his wife’s desire to care for her sister when the sister was minor and was doing a lot worse health-wise. However, now the sister was an adult, and the man was the sole provider for their household, he began to feel overwhelmed by the financial expenses.
He Felt She Relied On Them Too Much
His sister never reciprocates gifts they bought for her and didn’t pay for herself when they went out – instead expecting the man and his wife to pay for her. She also relied on his wife to schedule her medical appointments and expected her to pay for her medical expenses. The man explained that “She always talks about how she’s freelancing and is making money, but then somehow has no money whenever she needs or wants anything.”
He Argued With His Wife
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They also had a child of their own, and the man wanted to be able to support them as well. He grew increasingly frustrated about the situation, and so decided to speak with his wife about it. He approached the conversation trying to be calm and as kind as possible, however, things deteriorated and he ended up arguing with her. The man, in the heat of the moment, even said some “messed up things” about the sister.
He Took An Extreme Step
The man ended the conversation by threatening to cut off his wife’s access to their joint bank account. He wanted to make clear that he would not be entirely cutting her off from money, and he also acknowledged that his wife’s role as a homemaker contributed equally to their family.
But He Wanted The Sister To Be More Independent
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Nevertheless, the man wanted his wife’s sister to be more responsible and independent. He explained, “She cannot be dependent on people forever. I think it’s an important lesson for her to learn.”
He Thought It Was Counterproductive
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The man felt that his wife was hindering her sister’s personal growth by keeping her dependent on her. However, his wife was very upset with him, and she felt it was an “end of the world situation”. The man felt his wife was too worried about upsetting her sister, but it do everyone good if the sister took some more responsibility.
Was The Man In The Wrong?
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The man was worried about his and his wife’s own financial situation as well, but he wanted to address the situation without causing further conflict. He wasn’t sure if he had gone too far, and turned to the internet for advice on how to find a healthy balance that respected both his wife’s desire to help her sister and their family’s financial stability.
The Internet Responded
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One person said, “I get why you’re upset about your wife spending money on her sister, but you are using the fact that your wife currently does not have her own income because she just gave birth to your child in order to control her, which is a jerk move on a whole different level.”
Another Person Gave Their Opinion
“Honestly, forget about the disabled sister, who your wife has had as a dependent since before you were married. You had an argument with your wife, who recently gave birth, and you literally threatened to cut her off your joint finances if she doesn’t do what you want.”
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