A thirty-five-year-old man had been married to his twenty-nine-year-old wife for four years. When they first met six years ago, they bought a home almost immediately. The wife’s dream was to have a simple life with a small home and a few children.
The Decision to Buy
There were two reasons that the couple decided to purchase a home so early. One reason was to secure a place to live together, and the other was as an investment in case the relationship didn’t work out.
Job Offer and Move
A year before their wedding, the man received a high-paying job offer across the country, which he accepted. This move meant leaving behind their hometown, family, and friends. However, the man’s wife negotiated an arrangement with her employer to telework for a few years.
After relocating, the couple began living a minimalistic lifestyle, driven by the man’s desire to save money. They drove an old and unreliable car with no car payment and low fuel consumption, and they resided in a small downtown apartment with affordable rent.
Whilst the man was thrilled with the price of the rent, he expressed his wife’s concerns about the neighborhood. “She is a little scared to go on walks alone as drunk homeless people have approached her many times – she has had to pepper spray more than one person. But the rent is cheap!”
The wife expressed her unhappiness with their living situation. He explained: “This isn’t the life she wanted at all. And I know that. We live off of her income and use mine to invest in our son. But she is sick of it and wants to move to a nicer city in a nice home. She found one nearby. I told her that she could go but I would stay here. She cried.”
The reasons the man did not want to move to yet another home were again related to finances. He wanted to continue investing in their son and was reluctant to commit to a mortgage. He believed that moving would hinder their financial goals.
Sacrifices and Priorities
Other choices that the man’s wife made led him to believe her priorities were skewed. “She is constantly spending whatever money she has left at the end of the month (after rent, bills, groceries) on gifts for me and my son”, he explained. “It’s generous, I appreciate the thought. But I wish she would save it instead to contribute to investing more.”
The man continued to list other occasions that he believed demonstrated his wife’s poor financial decisions. He recounted: “For our ten-year anniversary, she mentioned wanting an upgraded engagement ring because she compromised on a small cheap one that she didn’t love. Just like that, another big expense.”
Dilemma and Question
The wife had become upset due to her husband’s obsession with saving money. The man was torn between the way she was upset, the view of his wife’s desires as selfish, and wanting to prioritize financial security and investment for their son’s future. However, he ultimately questioned whether he was too hard on her and sought input on the situation.
Seeking a Second Opinion
Unsure whether he was in the right or wrong, the man headed online for validation, but all he received was hate. “This man is a mentally ill money hoarder”, one person wrote with anger.
Mass Hate for the Man
To the man’s dismay, this trend was universal across almost every comment. “He sounds empathy challenged and very shallow and materialistic”, claimed one reader. “She should take advantage of his suggestion, leave with her son, divorce him, take half of their assets, and buy a house in a safe neighborhood.”
More Suggestions for Divorce
The comments section became riddled with suggestions that the woman divorce the man. “Honestly, the wife may be better off financially divorcing him. If she’s been paying all the living expenses and he invests, she’s probably entitled to some of that, too.”
Brutally Honest Prediction
One comment concisely summarized the man’s position and how saving money isn’t everything: “He will be retired at fifty but have no wife and his son will have no contact with him.”
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