A Man Was Forced to Confront a New Employee After She Told His Wife that She Was His ‘work Wife’ at His Baby-Shower, Causing Tension in The Office

John (29) had to confront a co-worker who made inappropriate jokes about being his “work wife” to his actual wife at their baby shower, even though he told her the jokes made him feel uncomfortable at work.

A New Girl Joins

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John (29) had been working at the marketing department of a large firm for the past 5 years. He was one of 9 employees in his department, and the group was pretty evenly split between men and women. A few months ago, a new hire named Eva (20) had joined the team.

She Was Hardworking

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John had quickly noticed that she was a hard worker and got along well with everyone. They often worked on projects together and were usually the last to leave the office.

She Called Herself his “Work Wife”

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However, John had also noticed that Eva had started calling herself his “work wife”. While he understood the joke, he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, especially since he was happily married. He had politely asked Eva to keep things professional, and she had stopped making the jokes.

They Had a Baby Shower

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A few weeks later, John’s wife was having a baby shower, and he decided to invite Eva. He didn’t think it would be a problem since everyone in their office was vaccinated, and his wife worked from home.

She Made the Same Jokes

Don’t You Care What Other People Think When You Laugh That Loud
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However, as soon as Eva arrived, she started making the same jokes again. “You’re John’s home wife? Nice to meet you!” she said to his wife. “It’s so nice to see who takes care of my hubby when I send him home!”

They Got Worse

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John’s wife tried to laugh it off, but the jokes kept getting worse. Eva even started telling people that she would be the baby’s second mom. John had had enough and took Eva aside to tell her that the jokes weren’t funny and that she needed to apologize to his wife or leave. Eva chose to leave.

Word Got Around

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Word got around the office about what had happened, and some of John’s co-workers thought he had been too harsh. They said that it was “obvious Eva liked him” and that he should have let her down easier.

Straight to the Internet

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John was torn. He didn’t want to hurt Eva’s feelings, but he also didn’t want to put his marriage at risk. John decided to visit a popular internet forum to seek advice on the situation.

The Internet Responds

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One person puts, “And who are these co-workers who said you should be nice to her because she likes you?? When you didn’t kick her out by the way – you asked her to be respectful and appropriate in the environment and instead she chose to leave. And now clearly spinning it in some way getting people to think that you were in the wrong.”

Another Person Comments

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A second person writes, “What’s really getting me about this here is that this is the treatment women get SO often and that you hear about on feminist websites, etc… – and that’s true. Here this male OP is getting it, and that’s something I don’t hear about a lot, and yet it doesn’t feel unfamiliar or weird, it feels like maybe this also happens. So, what causes it? Does everyone just not sympathize with the feelings of the harassed? Does everyone automatically sympathize with the harasser if, say, the harasser is attractive?? (Actually I think this is likely, though there may be other factors as well.) I really wonder.”

A Final Person Writes

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Another person writes, “Also have sense to know when is it OK to act the way she is just because you have a crush on someone. She prolly thinks that by doing that she could put a wedge between OP and his wife. Also her being one of the ones to leave last from work is suspicious after getting the whole story.”

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