The man’s girlfriend surprised him when she announced that she would be going on a solo backpacking trip. He decided to break up with her and kick her out. Did he do the right thing?
The Couple Were Together for Three Years
The man and his now ex-girlfriend were together for three years and lived together. He paid rent for the apartment while they both pitched in for bills. The man added, “I make enough money to afford it and I didn’t want to trouble her by pressing her with a bill for a place that is a tiny bit out of her price range.”
They Valued Trust in the Relationship
He explained, “We also have always been big on trust since both of us have been cheated on in previous relationships, and didn’t want to go through that again in this one.” They were always open with each other about their lives and future plans.
The Girlfriend Enjoys Travelling
The couple frequently went on vacation and had a lot of fun together. He explained, “She was always a fan of these trips abroad and loved traveling, and for the most part our trips were always fun.”
She Booked a Solo Backpacking Trip
One day, he was surprised when she announced that she had booked a solo backpacking trip across South America and was leaving in a few days. She also admitted that she had been planning the trip for months.
The Girlfriend Didn’t Want Him to Come
He initially asked if he could come along, but she refused because she would be ‘discovering herself’ on the trip. He then asked why she hadn’t told him sooner. He explained, “She said because I wouldn’t have allowed (or at the very least not wanted) her to go, especially alone. (Which is mostly true).”
An Argument Erupted
They began to argue about the trip and her lack of transparency. Eventually the man had reached his breaking point.
He Kicked Her Out
The man explained that his girlfriend said, “Why can’t I just go explore the world and live life to the fullest?” and he responded with, “You can, without me or the security of my home. Pack your bags and get out.”
He Clarified the Situation
He added, “I believe it was the right thing to do as she didn’t pay for the apartment anyways, and so didn’t have any right to demand to stay.” She stayed at her parents’ home that night and later the man’s phone was flooded with calls and texts calling him controlling.
Was He in the Wrong?
Is he justified for kicking her out? Should he have handled the situation differently?
He Turned to the Internet for Support
One person commented, “She admitted she knew you would not like what she was about to do and you obviously did not. If anything, she sounds like she was trying to manipulate you into agreeing to her trip by keeping it a secret. The people texting you should mind their business especially after hearing a one sided version of the story.”
The Opinions Were Divided
Another person replied, “Well, all of us are also getting one side of the story. I think she wasn’t manipulating, rather afraid of confrontation.”
Another Person Suggested
A slightly pessimistic commenter wrote, “To be honest, my gut instinct is that this isn’t a real solo trip and she’s going with someone else.”
Someone Gave Their Perspective
“Why shouldn’t she be allowed to go and do something by herself sometimes? Not “letting” her go sounds controlling to me. Going on a solo trip doesn’t necessarily mean she is planning on cheating like some others have suggested, and needing to have experiences alone is a perfectly legit thing people need. Still, she should have been transparent about it if she valued your relationship.”
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