A husband consulted the internet after his wife demanded that he do more around the house. He cut back his hours from work and did more chores, but she still wasn’t happy. Here is what he had to say:
He Explained the Situation
“My wife is usually an angel of a woman, but has recently gotten into a friendship with a woman whom I personally believe is a bad influence on her.” He was never affected by the friend’s childishness until recently.
He Didn’t Do Enough Around the House
He explained that his wife began to pressure him to do more around the house. He elaborated, “We already split chores and child care, admittedly, she had a bigger cut than I because she is a SAHM, but I do most of the cooking – breakfasts and dinners. Lunch for her and the boys is her responsibility. I take out the garbage and I do laundry, and I deep clean the bathrooms once a week. I also help with our boys’ homework and such.”
She Threatened Him With Divorce
The husband attempted to have conversations with her about her expectations of him but she threatened him with divorce. She argued that he should do the majority of the chores and childcare. After months, the situation hadn’t improved.
Things Reached a Boiling Point
The husband and wife went out with their friends one night. His wife began complaining to the friends that he never helped around the house and that he was using her as a house slave. The husband confessed that he became very angry.
Reduced Hours at Work
Instead of arguing with her, he went to work the next day and asked his boss to reduce his hours for a while.
He Started Doing More Around the House
He explained, “I took over everything in the house. I cooked breakfast, and made lunch for the boys before I drove them to school. I cleaned the house top to bottom, I did every dish we had twice, and so on”. He said that his wife was very happy with these changes and bragged to her friend about it.
The Wife Began Asking for More
This continued for a month before she made it clear that she still wasn’t happy. She complained that she wanted to go on more dates and get her nails done. The husband told her that it was out of their budget and suggested a date night at home.
He Suggested That She Get a Job
She was unhappy and wanted to be able to afford more luxuries. The husband suggested that she could get a part time job to be able to pay for her desires. He described her reaction, “You would have thought I asked if she wanted to join a cult.”
She replied that she wanted him to pick up more shifts at work to cover the extra expenses, using the icky phrase “be a man”. The husband was insulted and asked if she would be willing to go back to splitting the chores if he took back his hours at work.
He Had Done Everything to Prove a Point
She realized that he had reduced his hours and done more chores to prove a point to her and became angry at him, calling him manipulative for his actions. The husband said, “I stood strong for a while, but now I am questioning my methods, because even I feel what I did was a bit underhanded”.
Was He in the Right?
Should he have handled the situation differently? Were his actions justified?
He Turned to the Internet for Support
Most users sided with him. One person commented, “Stay at home means you do most of the housework. I’m not sure why your wife doesn’t understand that.”
Another Person Gave Their Perspective
“She needs to attend counseling with you and she needs to stop hanging out with this friend. You keep blaming the friend but you clearly ignore the fact that it’s your wife who is treating you badly.”
Someone Else Commented
“What a brilliant plan. I know she’s upset, but you made your point. Hopefully, she appreciates what she has and apologizes!”
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