John and his wife Sarah’s relationship faces challenges when Sarah’s promotion to his boss leads to a strain on their personal relationship and work dynamic, resulting in a demotion and a need for improvement in their communication and work-life balance.
Married and Workplace Colleagues
John and his wife, Sarah, had been married for two years. They had met at their current workplace, where they both worked as colleagues. Two months ago, their manager left, and Sarah decided to apply for the position, which she deservedly got, making her John’s boss.
She was Excited
Sarah was excited about her new position and the change it would bring, but John didn’t expect things to change so drastically between them. Sarah started to confide in him less and less regarding work stress, making him feel like he was beneath her. She also spent next to no time with him during work breaks and was extremely hard on him at work.
She Gave Him Excuses
Although Sarah’s new position required more commitment, John felt that she was using it as an excuse to neglect their relationship. They used to have weekly date nights, but since her promotion, they hadn’t been on a single one. Whenever John tried to organize something special for them, Sarah always made some excuse, saying she was busy with work or something else came up.
It Got too Stressful
John tried talking to Sarah about how he felt, but she always responded by saying that he wasn’t in her position and didn’t know how hard she was trying. Things got so stressful at work that John decided to talk to a different team manager and got transferred to his team.
She Felt Incapable
When Sarah found out, she was mad that he had done it without telling her, and she felt that it made her look bad and incapable of her new role.
She Starts Avoiding Him
After John’s transfer, Sarah started avoiding him at work and wasn’t her normal self at home. John saw her crying, but when he tried to comfort her, she said it was nothing.
She Demotes Herself
The next couple of days went by, and John found out from his team manager that Sarah was going to step down from her position and go back to her normal position, effectively demoting herself.
He Turns to the Internet
John ends up feeling torn on his actions towards Sarah. So much so, that he decides to go on the internet to ask for opinions on a popular web forum.
The Internet Responds
One person comments, “I know of no work place that would have allowed you to be on the same team let alone one another’s supervisor. You should have logically been transferred out of her group the second she was promoted. I’m going with your company is the jerk for allowing that scenario to even exist.”
A Second Person Responds
Another person writes, “I was my husband’s boss briefly. Granted, it was in a low key environment (restaurant) so it wasn’t a high pressure kind of job. I was in management and he was hired as a prep guy for 3-4 shifts a week. When he first mentioned applying, I went to MY boss and asked him about it. We discussed it, my husband interviewed, and got hired. Then we had a sit down with our top boss about etiquette. Basically my husband and I agreed that work was work and home was home. My husband was good at taking instructions, and I was good about not abusing any power I had. We didn’t have physical contact in the building, aside from a hug occasionally. It definitely is unusual though and wouldn’t work in the vast majority of situations.”
A Final Comment
A third persons viewpoint reads, “I also think this is so one sided. She is new to her role. Naturally it will take her time to adjust to her new role and responsibilities. The fact is as a manager you do have less time and you bring work home. It’s inevitable. I feel if he were the one taking the promotion instead of her he would be singing a very different tune if his wife complained how he is complaining.”
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