A couple in their early twenties, the woman aged 21 and her partner aged 22, purchased their first home. They were able to make the purchase thanks to contributions from inheritance and a trust fund. However, they started to experience problems with sexist members of the HOA.
Navigating HOA Disputes
The couple had been encountering issues with their Homeowners Association (HOA). These disputes were primarily related to what they perceived as petty complaints, particularly targeted toward her partner. These complaints gave the impression that the HOA holds a negative view of her partner while initially holding her in high regard.
Property Territory And HOA Jurisdiction
The property was situated outside the HOA’s territory, and the HOA believed the couple was renting. Despite them actually owning the property, they had paid a fine to maintain peace with the association.
Unwanted Visits
The HOA began to frequently visit their property with further petty complaints. These unsolicited visits were often during the morning hours when her partner was asleep due to his night shift work.
Reaction to Complaints
The couple began to feel belittled by the HOA’s comments, which included criticizing their jobs, despite both earning six-figure salaries. This led to the couple beginning to avoid interactions with the HOA.
Gender Bias Incident
The situation escalated when the woman was renovating her shed using power tools during the afternoon. The HOA president’s wife approached her, asking her to stop. The woman wrote: “I asked why me, and not everyone else since it was 2 in the afternoon and another neighbour was also using their tools, and she said “it’s not ladylike”. I told her to get off my property.”
Further Gender Stereotyping
The following morning, the HOA president and his wife came to their house while her partner was sleeping. They insisted on speaking to the man, referring to it as a matter between “the men”.
Refusal To Comply
The woman refused to allow this. She began to assert her ownership of the house, and when they refused to speak with her, the woman explained ‘I told him to get off my property, or I’ll call the cops and my lawyer.”
HOA Gaslighting
In reaction to the woman’s threats, the HOA president suggested she was “crazy”. He told her once again that he needed to speak with the “Man of the House”.
A Difference Of Opinions
After the lady recounted the events to her partner, he suggested that she apologize. He believed that they should agree to the HOA’s terms to maintain peace.
Maintaining Her Stance
The woman did not appreciate her partner’s perspective. She strongly doubted that she was in the wrong, given their two years of trying to appease the neighbors and her continued frustration with the situation.
Seeking New Perspectives
Refusing to agree with her partner that she should apologize, the woman headed online to seek the perspective of other people. One commenter humorously chimed in, “Sounds like it would be worth investing in a fence and a big dog”.
They Messed Up
Offering their frank perspective, another reader responded: “You messed up big time by caving and paying the fine and doing what they ask. They are just going to keep pushing if you keep giving in. Tell them to go away and slam the door in their faces. No point in keeping the peace with sexists.”
Take Legal Action
Many other people suggested that it was time they stood up to the HOA and took legal action. “Your house is out of their territory… so why are you entertaining them at all?”, somebody questioned. “Send a cease and desist letter.”
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