A Woman Insisted that Her Stepson Transfer to A Public School Like Her Children Because of His Expensive Private Tuition, but Her Husband Said No

A woman had always educated her children publicly, but this was not the case for her new husband. His son studied at a private school, and this disparity would soon present a conundrum for his new wife. 

An Education Surprise

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The woman had recently discovered that her stepson, unbeknownst to her, had been enrolled in a private school. This was surprising to her as it was unfamiliar territory, as she had always educated her children at public schools and thought this was perfectly sufficient. 

Private is Expensive

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The woman’s surprise rapidly turned into shock when she and her husband discussed tuition fees. The annual costs for this institution amounted to a substantial $16,000, with each parent expected to contribute half.

Differing Perspectives

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The husband took the stance that maintaining continuity in their stepson’s education was of paramount importance. He argued that abruptly transferring him to a public school would be detrimental to his well-being.

The Wife’s Concerns

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On the other hand, the wife was deeply concerned about the significant financial burden this private school would place on their family budget. “I think it’s unfair and wrong for one child in the family to go to private school and have $16k of the family’s budget spent on that when the other two don’t”, she explained. “We can’t afford to send all three to private school.”

A Suggestion for Change

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Her proposed solution was for the stepson to join her children at the local public school. She argued that it would not only be a more equitable allocation of resources but would also foster a sense of fairness among all their children.

The Husband’s Counterargument

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The husband firmly opposed this idea. “He insisted that we should just continue things as they were to minimize the effect on children, believing that forcing his son to change school would be wrong”, she wrote.

The Age Factor

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The husband also believed that it was important to note that the stepson was 15 years old, while the wife’s children were 14 and 11. The husband emphasized that disrupting his son’s education at this age could have negative consequences, something that was perhaps unrelatable to his wife. 

An Expensive Decision

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The woman found herself frustrated by this unexpected dilemma. She believed that paying $16,000 annually for her stepson’s education was an outrageous expense, especially considering that public school was free. This could be acceptable if he were the only child, but she was concerned about the unfairness this would present to her two public school children. 

Seeing His Side 

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With this being said, the woman also understood her husband’s perspective. The boy had been private schooled up until this point, and there was no denying that the age of 15 was an important stage of development and education. Therefore, she could understand why her husband was reluctant to switch him to public school at this point in time. 

Seeking Help Online

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The woman was torn by these two perspectives, and couldn’t think of anything else to do other than ask for help on the internet. Unfortunately, the woman received more criticism than help. “I don’t understand how you married someone without knowing what school their kids go to!”, someone exclaimed. “Did you meet this man and his kid last week? Makes no sense.”

Terrible Communication

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Everybody was shocked at the married couple’s clear lack of communication. “Sounds like something you should have spoken about BEFORE getting married”, stated another surprised reader.

Split Your Finances

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Many readers suggested that it was time to accept financial differences. “I think your only option at this point is to split your finances”, someone suggested. “It’s not fair to make your stepson change schools, but it’s also not fair to pay for his schooling and not your kids. Either of those options will lead to major resentment.”

Nothing Will Change

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However, one user did offer a glimmer of hope for the woman. “Him going to private school doesn’t take anything away from your children”, they pointed out. “They all go to the same school they did before, so this isn’t favoritism. Your finances also don’t change, as he paid for his share before marriage as did his ex-wife.”

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