A woman was brought up in a family that strongly believed in traditional gender roles, where her parents expected her to stay at home with the children while her brothers pursued their education and careers. She distanced herself from her parents, and they want to make up after learning of her pregnancy. Here is what she had to say:
Antiquated Expectations
Due to these old-fashioned expectations, the woman’s parents didn’t place value on her education or achievements beyond domestic skills.
Educational Disparities
The woman’s three brothers received full financial support for college, including tuition, books, and living expenses, while she was explicitly told she couldn’t apply for college.
Going Against Her Parents
Despite these orders, the woman wanted to study at college and secretly applied. She received partial scholarship offers and took on debt to pursue an engineering degree.
Estrangement From Parents
As a result of these disparities and her parents’ disapproval of her choices, the woman distanced herself from her parents for years.
Marriage and Children
Over the years, the woman had built up her own life and family. She was now married and was expecting her first child.
Reconciliation Attempt
Recently, her parents expressed a desire to reconcile and meet her. “We met at a park, and they said they were “sorry if they caused me pain” but would like a relationship now”, the woman recounted. “I asked them specifically what they were sorry for. They wouldn’t elaborate and just said they wanted to move forward.”
Unacceptable Apology
The woman found this insufficient and asked them to prove their sincerity by explaining themselves and providing her with the same financial support they had given her brothers, which amounted to $100,000.
Parents’ Reaction
The woman’s request was not met with understanding. “My mom burst into tears, my dad said I wasn’t being serious so I just left.”
Brothers’ Perspective
Since this turn of events, her brothers began calling her to discuss the situation. They accused her of being immature and hurtful.
Her Perspective
The woman did not agree with the accusations that her brothers threw at her. She believed that asking for financial reimbursement was a fair way for her parents to demonstrate their commitment to making amends for their past actions.
Seeking Second Opinions
Fuelled by her brother’s accusations, the woman posted her story online, seeking a second opinion. “As far as I can see, your answer to them was perfect”, commented one person. “It was very fair, and if they had fixed their appalling bigotry issues, they would be falling all over themselves begging you to take the money.”
Influenced By Pregnancy
Many commenters pointed out the likelihood that the woman’s pregnancy was influencing her parents’ attempt to reconcile. “Your parents are toxic and it sounds like they simply apologized to be a part of their grandchild’s life. If your parents truly have changed they’d be able to tell you what exactly they were sorry for.”
Is it Really Worth it?
One reader asked whether the $100,000 would really be worth it. “Personally, I’m not sure why you’d want a relationship with them after all this”, they pointed out. “Any financial ties are just going to put pressure on any relationship in the future. Ask yourself what you’re going to do if they do somehow come up with the money. You’re going to feel obliged to be a part of their life.”
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