When this mother found out she was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband started putting aside money for the child’s future college education. They continued to do so for each of their four children, without ever telling them about the funds. The mother has an excellent job, and the amount they had saved was more than most.
A Disappointing Start
Their eldest child, El, got pregnant at the age of 16 and ended up dropping out of school. The mother was disappointed but understood, hoping that El would return to school later. However, she never did. Her partner stuck around, and they now have two children together, with one more on the way. They are engaged but have no plans to marry until they can afford it.
A Bad Job Market
El and her partner were doing okay financially for a while, but due to the current market, they have been struggling. El can’t find a job since she doesn’t have a diploma, so the mother and her husband have been loaning them money.
College Planning
Meanwhile, their second eldest child, Katie, was a senior in high school and had just been accepted into college. They had been setting everything up, and Katie knew about the college fund.
College Fund
One day, while Katie and El were talking, El asked how she was planning to pay for college. Katie responded, “my college fund.” The mother was in the room and panicked. They had just planned on splitting the funds between the remaining four children, knowing that they were all going to college.
She Got Excited
El asked if all of them had a college fund, and the mother couldn’t lie, so she said yes. El got excited and went to call her fiancé to tell him the good news. The mother was confused and told El that she couldn’t have the money. El got upset and left the house.
Conditional Offer
The next day, the mother received a call from El, who was crying and begging her to let her have the funds so she could finally afford a down payment and maybe even a wedding. The mother told her that she could have the money if she went back to school and used whatever money was left over for whatever she wanted. El got mad and started yelling, saying it was her money. The mother reminded her that it was actually her money and that those were her conditions, and El hung up.
Harassment
Now, the mother and her family are being harassed by El’s fiancé’s family, who are not as fortunate as they are. They are calling them names and saying that they are setting El up for failure by not giving her the money. The mother is now questioning if she is the jerk in this situation, especially after her father suggested that they should give El the money since they saved it for her.
She Reached Out
After some reflection, the mother decided to reach out to El and try to work things out. El came over, and they had a long discussion. They both apologized for their behavior and were able to come to a compromise. The mother agreed to give El the remaining college fund money, but only if she gets her GED and goes to a trade school. El hasn’t decided which trade school to attend, but she’s leaning towards cosmetology.
A Generous Gift
In addition, the mother and her husband decided to pay for a small wedding ceremony and reception as a gift to El and her fiancé. El’s fiancé’s family also apologized for their behavior, and the situation was resolved peacefully.
It Could Have Been Handled Better
Looking back, the mother realizes that she could have handled the situation better. She should have been more transparent with her children about the college funds and set clear expectations for how the money would be used. However, she’s grateful that they were able to work things out and that El is taking steps to better her future.
The Internet Responded
This person commented, “You put money into a college fund for each kid. The whole purpose was to help with their education. It’s a generous fund and not everyone is able to do that for one kid, let alone four plus one on the way. She made other choices and that’s fine. Just because she was unaware of the college fund doesn’t mean she can just collect it now, after finding out. She was happy with her relationship until she found out, right?”
More Comments
Another commenter posted, “The part that annoys me is the fiancé’s parents calling OP and insulting their choice in how they spend their money. I agree a compromise but I think the other family butting in needs to be addressed.”
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