A Woman Told Her Friend to Shave Her Body Hair to Improve Her Dating Life, but Her Friend Was Offended Because the Woman Was Supporting the Patriarchy

A woman had a close friend named Emily, a 32-year-old woman, and they were very open with each other. Unfortunately, this openness would soon cause a disruption in their relationship that would leave the woman conflicted. 

Emily’s Decision

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One day, Emily informed the woman of a decision that she had made. She chose to stop shaving her body hair—her legs, armpits, and private areas. 

The Reason for Her Decision

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Emily explained why she had come to this decision. It had been an act of feminism, and “out of protest to the patriarchy”.

Emily’s Dating Woes

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Recently, the two women were having a beer together when Emily expressed her disappointment regarding her dating life. Despite her vibrant personality, intelligence, and other admirable qualities, Emily found herself in a dating rut. 

No Second Date

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The woman explained that Emily would have the occasional fun date, but relationships wouldn’t last. “She kept meeting guys and having very fun dates but never got a call-back or when she tried asking for a second or third date, got rejected in a very generic manner.”

Complimenting Emily

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The woman’s initial reaction was to empathize with Emily and reassure her of her beauty. However, she had another thought on her mind that she believed could explain the conundrum Emily was facing. 

Offering a Suggestion

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In an attempt to help Emily, the woman decided to broach a sensitive topic. “I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it might help a little if you would shave?”, the woman asked. 

A Heated Reaction

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Emily was taken aback by the suggestion. She felt disappointed that her friend would imply she should alter her appearance for the sake of attracting men, considering it a perpetuation of female suppression. 

The Apology

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The woman’s suggestion and Emily’s negative reaction immediately soiled the atmosphere and ruined the evening. The woman explained that she tried to reverse the damage, but it was too late. “I immediately apologized and I also texted her the next day apologizing again for hurting her, but she hasn’t replied.”

Reflecting on the Situation

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Realizing the impact of her words, the woman felt remorseful for her comment. She knew that she hadn’t made the suggestion to be nasty, and she was only trying to help. However, she knew how strongly Emily felt about her decision to stop shaving, so she felt that she really should have known better. 

Seeking Validation

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The woman headed online, confessing her guilt and hoping that others could relate to her woes. However, she was disappointed to find a lot of people grilling her even further. “Do you think she hadn’t already thought about that?”, asked one reader. “Clearly she has made her decision. If she changes her mind, she will shave. All you did was make her self-conscious about it.”

She Was Probably Right

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Whilst most people claimed that the woman was in the wrong, they still empathized with her reasoning. “I think you’re probably right that some of the guys she has gone out with are put off by her body hair”, agreed one commenter. “However, she likely doesn’t want the kind of guy who would see body hair as a dealbreaker. She also didn’t ask for your advice.”

Sad Reality

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Everyone agreed that Emily was in the right, but people still agreed with her friend that Emily’s aversion to shaving was the source of her problems. “She has the right not to shave, and the men she dates have the right to think it’s gross”, another commenter chimed in. “People are attracted to what they are attracted to. That’s just reality.”

It Was Just a Suggestion

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However, one reader felt that the woman had done nothing wrong at all. They wrote, “You just suggested the reason she may be having problems with dating. You are also probably correct. Of course, she is free to do whatever she wants with her body, but that may not meet others’ preferences. Sadly, this may mean they miss out on a great person for superficial reasons”.

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