Seeking to escape her toxic family environment, a woman made secret plans to relocate to another country. But when her family found out, they were furious at her and so she turned to the internet for advice. Here is what she had to say:
She Had Finished College
The woman said, “I am 23 years old from a family of four, and I am the eldest child, just trying to find footing after completing college at the end of last year. I got a job, not so well paying but at least I can pay my bills and monthly expenses.”
She Had A Toxic Family
She supplemented her income by taking on additional side jobs to create a financial buffer for unforeseen circumstances. The woman explained that she came from a highly toxic family environment and both of her parents had contributed to that toxicity.
It Had Significantly Affected Her
During her childhood, she didn’t have open conversations with her parents, and anything she discussed would later be weaponized against her. The environment was so toxic that it conditioned her to keep her thoughts and feelings hidden, which adversely affected her interpersonal relationships.
She Had Panic Attacks
She often preferred to ghost others rather than address problems directly. She even experienced panic attacks when she heard loud noises or had phone calls from her parents, assuming they were about bad things related to her.
Her Mom Demanded Money From Her
Despite her efforts to achieve financial independence, her mother had consistently demanded that she share her income with her. Her mother sometimes even told her aunts (her mother’s sisters) to request money from her.
Her Mom Told Her Brother To Ask Her For Money
However, her income barely covered her personal expenses. While she had been willing to help her mother, she simply hadn’t earned enough to spare any money for this purpose. She had also supported her younger brother’s college expenses when she could, but her mother had told him to ask her for money frequently, which caused conflict between them when she couldn’t spare any money.
Her Mom Was Manipulative
The woman explained that her mother had often reminded her that she paid for her education and suggested she owed her everything she had.
She Wanted To Move Far Away
The woman said, “I am so tired of the mental abuse, I have consolidated my savings, and I plan to relocate to another country without telling anyone when my lease ends at the end of this month. I just feel like moving far away to a new environment will help me heal and start all over again.”
Was The Woman In The Wrong?
In preparation for this move, she closed her social media accounts and changed her phone number. The woman said, “I have left out so many details, but I can’t explain the damage this has had on me, and I just want to take back my life and make myself happy.”
The Internet Responded
One person said, “You don’t owe your parents for them having supported you when you were a minor — it’s what they signed up for when they chose to have kids. Live your life. I wish you very, very good luck.”
Another Person Commented
“I’m sorry you went through all this. I wish you the best in your new life. Live your dreams!”
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