A Woman with a Hidden Disability Received Rude Passive-Aggressive Remarks When She Refused to Give up Her Train Seat for a Pregnant Woman

This woman had a rude encounter when she refused to give up her seat for a pregnant woman since she had an invisible disability. Was she wrong in how she handled the situation?

The Woman Has a Disability

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She explained, “I get public transport to and from work 2 times a month, and it’s not pain free for me – I have a leg problem that makes it painful to stand for 5+ minutes or walk for 10+.”

She Found a Train Seat

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She boarded a full train and sat at a flip down seat by the door. She explained, “This particular day I’d been on my feet more than normal, so I was setting off on my journey home already in a lot of pain.” 

Two Women Approached

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A lady who was around 60 years old took the flip down seat next to her and her pregnant daughter asked where she should sit. The mother spoke about the woman in third person, saying ‘She’ll just have to move.’

She Gave Them a Look

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She clarified, “The daughter looks pretty shocked, but then looks expectantly at me. I give the older woman a look and completely blank them both.”

The Lady Said “Young People Are so Selfish”

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She explained, “The older woman starts talking about how I should give her daughter the seat. I ignore her, because she’s not asking me, she’s saying things like ‘Young people are so selfish nowadays!’ and ‘Pregnant women never stood on trains when I was young’. 

The Pregnant Woman Found a Seat

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The pregnant daughter eventually moved to the main carriage and a man moved his luggage to give her a seat. She said, “Considering they had no way of knowing my situation, and I didn’t know anyone would free up a seat because they didn’t for me.”

She Later Clarified the Situation

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The woman said, “I wasn’t in one of the seats reserved for elderly/pregnant/disabled and I would have had to sit on the floor as I would have either fallen on the train or been unable to walk home. I could have spoken to the pregnant woman to explain, ignoring her rude mother, and I chose not to.”

Was She in the Wrong?

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Should she have given up her seat? Or should she have explained her medical problem?

She Turned to the Internet for Advice

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One user commented, “Had she asked you politely that would be a different story, but the woman took a seat from her own pregnant daughter and then had the nerve to get passive aggressive with you.”

Someone Shared Their Perspective

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“As someone who has joint pain I think I know how you feel. Not every disability is visible. They were acting entitled to a seat. You had just as much right to it as they did.”

Another Person Gave Their Opinion

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“I think a simple ‘I have a leg problem/disability, I won’t give up my seat.’ Would have been a simple thing to say to dispel the situation. And it would’ve educated her that not all disabilities are visible.”

Someone Else Commented

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“They never asked you to move in the first place, they talked about you rather than to you. If they had asked politely I’m sure you would have said ‘I have a disability so I need this seat too’. You can’t complain about someone not giving up their seat while you’re not giving up yours.”

Another User Shared Their Opinion

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“You should not feel compelled to share private medical information with strangers. You needed the seat, so you kept it. If she was that concerned about her daughter having a seat, she should have given her hers or found different seating. End of story.”

A final person commented their opinion. “Also, that man shouldn’t have had his luggage on a seat in the first place, seats are for people, not bags!”

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