Five years after moving to a new state for work, a woman had developed a growing unease about her husband’s close friend Todd. The friendship had initially seemed irritating albeit harmless, but she soon realized that she had to take a firmer stance.
Initial Insensitive Comments
The trouble began when the woman was struggling to find a job after their relocation. “Todd would make passive-aggressive comments about how nice it must be to have someone support me”, the woman recounted.
The woman explained her husband’s reaction to her upset: “When I told my husband, he said that Todd was joking and didn’t mean it. I told him that it offended me, but he told me that I was overreacting.”
As time passed, Todd’s insensitive comments persisted. In a recent incident when the woman brought her husband food to his office, Todd made a snide remark about how it must be nice for the husband to receive such treatment from his ‘woman’. “I told him that I was not a dog, and to not talk to me like that”, she remembered.
Telling Her Husband
To the woman’s surprise, Todd reported the woman’s response to her husband. When confronted, the woman repeated that she would not accept being talked to disrespectfully, but again, the husband brushed it off as a joke.
The New Phone
One day, an innocent gift was to escalate the Todd situation significantly. The woman had been saving up to buy a new phone. However, unbeknownst to her, her husband had ordered it for her as a gift. “I was so excited, happy, and grateful”, the woman beamed.
Later that day, the couple headed out for dinner when they bumped into Todd. “He immediately remarked at ‘how spoiled I was’ and ‘how hard my husband works for me to just spend his money’… I saw red”, the woman remembered.
A Heated Confrontation
The woman finally snapped. “I told him that I didn’t spend his money, he did”, she explained. “I continued to say that I have my own job, and he was a jealous loser who was angry because he couldn’t find a girlfriend who would put up with his nonsense, so he takes it out on me because I’m the only woman who will speak to him.”
Naturally, this altercation spoiled the mood, so the couple headed straight home. The car journey was uncomfortably silent, but upon arriving home, the woman’s husband finally spoke up. He expressed his embarrassment about the confrontation, and how he couldn’t understand why his wife was always so snappy with Todd.
However, the woman fought back: “I told him that I was embarrassed when his friend told me that I was some kind of money-grabbing leech and he just stood there and allowed it to happen. I told him that I did not want Todd around anymore and that he wasn’t welcome in the house.”
As usual, the man attempted to brush off the situation by claiming that she was overreacting. However, this only made his wife more furious. She was sick of Todd’s behavior and was even more sick of her husband defending Todd’s snide comments.
Venting Her Frustration
With her husband not listening, the woman decided to head online and vent her frustrations to her internet friends. Thankfully, they had her back. “You tried to talk to your husband about how Todd makes you feel multiple times”, someone reminded her. “Tell your husband he can marry Todd if his feelings are more important than yours.”
There wasn’t a single reader who agreed with the husband that the woman was overreacting. “I don’t know what Todd’s problem is or why he’s so rude to you”, one reader sympathized. “I also don’t know why your husband isn’t being supportive and shutting him down. You were right to call Todd out on his rudeness and misogyny.”
Ditch the Husband
Some commenters even went as far as to suggest the woman ditches her husband. “Your husband views Todd’s behavior as harmless and enables it when he should be protecting you”, they wrote. “Ditch him – that’s not husband material.”
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