Two women were lifelong friends and had shared a close bond for 26 years, they had navigated life’s ups and downs together. They had supported each other through various medical conditions, but one of the women would soon discover that there were limits to the support she was willing to provide.
A Medical Suggestion
One day, the woman, who had recently undergone a surgical procedure, suggested that her friend consider the same procedure. Surprisingly, her friend’s doctor agreed that it could benefit her too, potentially improving her health and well-being.
However, the woman was surprised to find that her best friend had scheduled the surgery on the woman’s birthday. This presented a conundrum because the woman would typically support her friend in scenarios such as these, but doing so on her birthday was quite an ask.
A Polite Request
Determined to handle the situation with grace, the woman made a request: “I politely asked her to reschedule for another day, as I wouldn’t be available for support on my birthday, and there was more than enough time to make arrangements for another day.”
Unfortunately, the woman’s friend seemed to think that this was not possible and emphasized how important it was for her to be there for support. “I personally think it’s very rude and selfish, as she could absolutely change the date”, she explained.
A History of Bad Timing
This wasn’t the first time that a situation like this had arisen. “Earlier this year, she scheduled her ablation surgery on my mother’s birthday, which was and still is an emotional day for me as she has been gone for 17 years”, the woman explained.
A Huge Regret
The woman greatly regretted this past experience. It was horrible for her to feel expected to spend time in a hospital rather than grieving her mother, and she didn’t want this to happen again.
A Time for Celebration
Furthermore, the woman cherished annual birthday plans with her family. This year, her family had planned to fly into town for the occasion, and it was set to be a day of celebration and connection, one she looked forward to all year.
The woman was conflicted; while she wanted to be there for her friend during her surgery, she also didn’t want to put her birthday on hold. Her friend had never attended her annual parties due to her struggles with addiction recovery and the associated triggers, which the woman respected, but it had led to a lack of understanding.
The woman’s parents, who were flying in to celebrate her birthday, were also aware of the situation. They implored her to continue asking her friend to reschedule, considering that the surgery wasn’t life-threatening and could easily be postponed by a week.
Ultimately, the woman decided that her birthday plans were too important for her to miss, especially considering the flexibility of her friend’s surgery date. She emphasized that she would be happy to support her on a different date and throughout the 7-week recovery period, but her birthday was a no-go.
The Internet’s Thoughts
The woman realized that she would have to abandon her friend during her surgery, so she took to the internet, asking whether this would be a selfish move. “You have plans with your family, and she had plenty of time to reschedule”, one reader reminded her. “You’d be doing nothing wrong, and I’m sure she could find someone else to help her on the big day.”
An Advance Warning
Most people defended the woman with no hesitation. “You told her in advance that you can’t be there”, another reader pointed out. “If she needs you specifically to be there to care for her, then she would reschedule. I hope you have a great birthday celebration!”
Expecting Too Much
However, some people felt that both women were acting ridiculously. “You’re both expecting too much of each other”, one commenter stated. “It is fine for her to say ‘I won’t be able to celebrate your birthday this year because I am having surgery’. However, it is not okay for you to say ‘you need to reschedule your surgery so I can celebrate my birthday’.”
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