A Woman’s New Colleague Asked Who the ‘Creepy’ Men Are in The Office to Avoid, but The Co-Worker Branded the Woman a Liar when She Said There Were None

Sarah, a woman in her early thirties, had been working at her current job for a little over a year and was the only woman in the entire office. This changed one day when a new woman joined the company, but Sarah could never have expected that this would only create new problems.

Appropriate Colleagues

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Sarah enjoyed her work, and always got along well with her colleagues. Despite the gender disparity, she had never encountered any inappropriate comments or behavior from her co-workers.

The Arrival of a New Hire

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Recently, a new colleague, Emily, joined the company. Emily worked in a different team but frequently interacted with Sarah’s team. They had crossed paths a few times and had a pleasant conversation during a company dinner. 

A New Friend

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Emily had started seeking out Sarah during lunch breaks, seemingly finding her approachable. Lunchtime conversations became a new routine for Sarah and Emily, and both of them thoroughly enjoyed it.

Casual Lunch Conversations

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Sarah and Emily’s lunchtime conversations were usually light-hearted and devoid of work-related discussions. Sarah preferred to keep it that way, as she wanted a break from the office environment during lunch.

A Peculiar Question

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One day, during their lunch outing, Emily asked something unexpected in conversation. “She straight-up asked me who the “issue men” were at work”, Sarah explained. “I was a bit confused, so she clarified by asking who was creepy/should be avoided.”

No Creeps Here

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Sarah recounted how she responded: “I was a bit surprised but told her honestly that everyone had always been friendly and kind and that I have not experienced anything like that at this company.”

Persistent Inquiry

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However, Emily appeared skeptical and continued to press Sarah for names of co-workers to avoid. Despite the pressure, Sarah stuck to her original response, emphasizing that she had not experienced any problems with her colleagues.

A Disconcerting Encounter

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As the workweek came to a close, Emily asked Sarah to walk to the elevator with her. During the brief trip, Emily expressed her disappointment with Sarah’s reluctance to share names. “She said now she didn’t know who to avoid, all because I wasn’t a ‘girls’ girl’”, Sarah wrote.

Reflecting on the Situation

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Sarah found herself questioning whether she had handled the situation appropriately. She knew that Emily had expected a different response from her, but Sarah truly had not experienced inappropriate behavior from any men in the workplace. She certainly didn’t want to lie, so was unsure of how she could have handled the situation any better. 

Seeking Advice

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Seeking guidance, Sarah decided to share her experience on an internet forum, asking for opinions and advice on whether her response had been justified or if there was a better way to handle Emily’s inquiries. “You don’t have any problem men, but you do have a problem woman”, stated one reader. “Should the men be warned?”

Warn the Men

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The previous comment sparked up a lengthy thread discussing the trouble that Emily represented. “Harassment can go both ways, and mere allegations, regardless of basis can make a man’s career do a full 180 in a matter of seconds”, one respondent wrote. “And worse? Sarah’s name might be dragged into it. So yes, the men should be warned. ASAP.”

It is important to note, however that Emily’s past experiences are likely the reason for her inquiry, and it is not unusual for women to protect men to avoid conflict, so her skepticism of the woman’s answer is somewhat justified. 

Drama 

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Almost everyone agreed that Emily was being dramatic and should be avoided. “She likes conflict, and if it doesn’t exist, she creates it”, a commenter stated. “Avoid her. If she asks why tell her she has basically called you a liar for your honest opinion of men at work. Why does she think she is so hot that the men won’t be able to resist harassing her? Very weird person.”

Empathise With Her

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However, some commenters took a more empathetic approach toward Emily. “It sounds like her past experience has shown her that there are ALWAYS some creeps”, explained one reader. “Meet her in the middle – tell her that you understand where she is coming from, but you genuinely have not had any concerning interactions or experiences”, they continued.

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