The sister of a young woman had been expressing her financial woes, which had come as a result of her having a baby who was now five months old. In response, the woman expressed her own views on having a child, but perhaps she would have kept quiet if she realized the drama her opinion would cause.
Sister’s Financial Woes
The woman was eating dinner with her family, and they were discussing her sister’s financial struggles. “She stated that she and her boyfriend’s standard of living had decreased since she gave birth”, the woman remembered. “They can afford the basics, but they can’t go on vacation, can’t eat out, and can’t afford a babysitter. They also just moved into a cheaper apartment.”
Her Mother’s Concern
The sisters’ mother had expressed concerns about her daughter’s financial situation from the moment they announced their plans to have a child. “My sister’s boyfriend makes less than minimum wage”, she explained. “He only works part-time at a restaurant to focus on creating his music.”
To help the couple out, the mother had been providing financial support, but things had not improved. She offered her daughter and the baby to move in with her as a way to save money, but the daughter declined the offer.
During the dinner, the woman, who had no plans to have children, was asked by her sister when she intended to start a family. “I said I don’t plan on having kids”, she recounted.
The Sister’s Doubts
However, the woman’s sister doubted this. “She said I’ll change my mind (I’m almost 30). I said I probably won’t and she kept pressing me on why.”
Money Over Children
After being persistently pressed about the motive of her decision, the woman decided to speak up. “I finally just said, ‘I don’t want kids, I want money’, and she got really quiet.”
After dinner, the older sister left a voicemail for their mother, expressing her hurt feelings due to the younger sister’s comment. She felt attacked by the remark and expected an apology.
The Woman’s Defense
The woman defended herself staunchly: “I do think my sister is in a nightmare situation, but I would have said the same even if she didn’t have a baby. I’ve always thought I’m not meant for parenthood and I’d rather just be the cool, fun aunt who travels a lot and buys big presents for my nieces/nephews. I truly didn’t mean to insult her.”
Despite the woman making her decision to stay childless even before her sister’s financial struggles began, her mother demanded that she apologize. However, the woman felt that no apology was needed and that her sister had misinterpreted the motivation behind her statement and had overreacted greatly.
Was She Too Harsh?
Despite her belief that her sister had overreacted, the woman headed online to ask some online friends what they thought. “If you were sitting at dinner and just randomly blurted out ‘I don’t want kids, I want money’, that would be a rude thing to say”, stated one reader. “However, your sister refused to drop it, so she was asking for a response like this.”
She Forced Her to Answer
Many people focused their frustration on the sister’s persistent request. “I hate it when people repeatedly force a question until you give them the answer they want”, another reader wrote. “You don’t have to justify not wanting kids to her.”
Her Statement Was True
Everyone agreed that there was no denying that what the woman said was true. “Kids are expensive”, someone stated. “You stated a fact. I have two. I’d rather have them than money, but I understand other people have different priorities, and so should your sister.”
A Rude Question
The overall ruling was that the sister’s questioning had been rude, and it had backfired. One commenter even wrote about how the sister’s questions were inherently problematic: “Your sister was obnoxious”, they wrote. “It’s wrong to ask someone when they’re going to have a baby. Some people don’t want children. Others struggle with infertility.”
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