Emily’s decision to move out of her mother’s house without telling her has caused a rift in their relationship due to the exclusion she felt from her stepfather’s family.
A Class Above the Rest
Emily was a high school graduate who decided to start college early. She did a semester at a community college to get ahead and now moved onto a campus to finish her degree. Emily had lived with her mother, Sarah, and stepfather, Ryan, for a while during high school because her younger siblings, Amy and Liam, wanted her around.
He Excluded Her
Emily loved being near her siblings, but she didn’t like living with Ryan because he and his family didn’t like her. They excluded her from everything they did as a family, and even on holidays, Emily would be asked to take the pictures instead of being in them.
He Said WHAT?!!
Whenever she tried to make an effort to be included, she was always told that it was “just for the family” and not for her.
She Was Never Invited
Things got worse when Ryan’s family started accepting Emily’s siblings, and she was left out. Ryan would schedule “family outings” but find a way to leave Emily at home, or he’d just straight up say she wasn’t invited.
The Last Straw
The last straw was when Ryan’s sister got Sarah a Mother’s Day gift, a locket with a picture of Amy and Liam in it. She said it was so Sarah could always have her two children close to her heart. Sarah didn’t say anything about Emily, and it hurt her.
A Slow Move
Emily started packing her things up for the past year, either taking them to her dad’s house or getting them ready to go to her dorm. On move-in day, she put all of her things in her car and drove to campus herself. Her dad met her there, and they decorated her room together.
She Moved OUT!
Sarah thought that Emily was just spending the weekend with her dad, so when Emily told her that she wasn’t coming back during the week because she’d moved in already, Sarah got upset.
Her Reasons Explained
Sarah felt hurt that Emily didn’t include her in the big moment of moving into college. Emily explained that Sarah had allowed Ryan to exclude her from their life since they started dating, and because that never seemed to bother her, Emily didn’t think it would be a big deal for her to move in without telling her. Emily felt justified in her actions, but she realized that she had hurt her mother’s feelings.
The Internet Responded
One person commented, “Sorry if this seems harsh, but your mom needed her feelings to be hurt – badly. Only then might she finally get a clue about how you’ve been feeling all this time. Not the jerk. But your mother and her precious new family sure are.”
Another person posted this, “Ryan is very definitely hoping that OP will get out of their lives – that’s been his aim ever since he started dating OP’s mother. With OP out of the house, he no longer has to look at the living proof that OP’s mother once loved another man.”
A Final Comment
This last person wrote, “OP, I wouldn’t let her play mom for any of the big moments. I’d avoid their house as much as you can. I’d even say things like, “if you miss me, look at the locket of your kids,” or, “Sorry, it was a family outing, so you weren’t included, obviously, since I’m not included in your family outings.” I’d make it very clear that she has the relationship with you that she’s earned.”
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