A 35-year-old woman, her wife, and their 2 children had recently moved into a new area, purchasing their house specifically because of its spacious garden and friendly neighborhood. She had been living there for about 6 months when an unexpected problem arose due to her wife’s kind-heartedness.
Unexpected Visitors
Around 2 weeks ago, the woman returned home to find her family in company with 3 additional children, roughly the same age. The woman wrote, “My wife told me they were our neighbours’ kids, and that they’d met our kids when they were playing out in the snow.” The woman was happy to see that the children were already making friends.
A Sudden Change
A few days later, the woman noticed that her wife was visibly upset. After inquiring about the reason, she learned that the neighbors had called and conveyed that their kids were no longer allowed to enter the family’s house.
No Reason Why
The neighbors didn’t provide a clear reason for this decision, but the woman chose to respect it. She believed that regardless of the reason, only the parents could make the decision as to where the children were safe and allowed to play.
A Difference of Opinion
However, the woman’s wife had a different perspective; she emphasized that it was too cold outside for the children to play together and that if they wanted to play in the warm house, they should be welcomed in.
Respecting Wishes
The woman suggested that her wife should also respect the neighbors’ wishes. However, this only caused anger: “My wife got mad at me and said if the neighbors’ kids were to ask her to come in, she couldn’t tell them to stay out”, the woman explained.
Potential Homophobia
The woman’s wife alluded to the possibility that the neighbors’ decision might be influenced by the fact that they are a same-sex couple. She felt that if this was true, it wasn’t fair to the children.
It Doesn’t Matter
Whilst the woman agreed that this was certainly a possibility, she believed the reason was irrelevant. “I said it did not matter anyways”, explained the woman. “I told her that we should still respect our neighbors’ wishes or we could go have a face-to-face conversation with them.”
Left to Play in the Cold
Unfortunately, this only caused even more upset. The woman’s wife became angry at her, calling her heartless for even suggesting that the kids should be refused entry if they turned up on a cold day.
The Moral Dilemma
The woman faced an internal debate, struggling to understand whether she was in the wrong for suggesting that the neighbors’ wishes be respected. She thought that her wife was admirable to consider the welfare and friendship of the children, but still believed that she should stand her ground.
Seeking Advice
Due to how upset her wife had become, the woman sought advice online to see what other people thought. One person wrote: “You’re respecting the parents’ wishes. However, your wife isn’t and probably should. It’s nothing bad and she genuinely wants the kids to be able to hang out with hers… I think one of you should speak to the other kids’ parents and see if you can convince them.”
Sympathy for the Wife
Other readers sympathized greatly with the wife: “If it’s common for kids to go to their friend’s houses a lot in this neighborhood and your neighbors didn’t give a reason, then I think your wife is justified in thinking it’s probably because you’re a gay couple and being upset about it”, someone commented. “It’s sweet that she has a big heart and doesn’t want them to be outside while it’s cold.”
A Word of Warning
However, one commenter was quick to note that if the woman’s wife wasn’t careful, things could get serious, writing: “If their parents said no, and your wife lets them in, then you can bet you’ll have the cops at your door.”
Good Intentions, but Naïve
Everyone recognized the kindness of the wife, but that she was also being rather naïve. “It sounds like your wife invited the kids in without talking to their parents in the first case”, a concerned reader wrote.
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