An Atheist Woman Was Engaged to a Christian Man, but He Mistook Her Curiosity as Willingness to Convert, Leaving Their Engagement at Risk

In a relationship marked by love and connection, a significant discrepancy had arisen between a woman and her fiancé regarding their religious beliefs. The woman, who had always been open about her non-religious stance, faced a challenging situation when her fiancé expressed concerns about their future together.

Initial Belief Disclosure

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During their very first date, the woman initiated a conversation about religion with her fiancé. “I asked him about his beliefs, and he told me he believed in Christianity”, she recounted. “Obviously I don’t see anything wrong with that, but I openly told him that I don’t believe in it.”

Religious Curiosity

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Throughout their relationship, the woman had always expressed open curiosity about her fiancé’s religious beliefs, leading her to ask the man many questions. She genuinely wanted to understand his faith better and thought it was a way to connect on a deeper level. 

Misinterpreted Questions

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However, the woman believed that her fiancé had misinterpreted her curiosity. “I think he mistakenly took these questions as my interest in converting”, she explained.

The Revelation

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The woman came to this realization during a recent conversation. “The other night I told him I think I had a good understanding of the ideas, but the only thing that didn’t make sense was why people believe in it”, she recounted. “He was confused and acted like he didn’t know that I didn’t believe, then got upset with me.”

Fiancé’s Confusion

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The man proceeded to explain that throughout their time together, he had thought that she had been converted. When she explained that all of this shouldn’t matter because they loved each other regardless, he expressed a deeply concerning thought: “Yeah, but we aren’t going to heaven together.”

Unrealistic Expectations

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The situation escalated significantly when the woman’s fiancé expressed his desire for her to convert to Christianity, despite the recent conversations that they had. He repeatedly questioned why she couldn’t just “become a Christian”. 

A Difficult Conversation

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The woman struggled to convey that her beliefs were deeply rooted and couldn’t be changed at will. The man’s frustration grew, primarily driven by the idea that they wouldn’t be together in the afterlife.

A Difference in Worldviews

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In contrast to her fiancé’s perspective, the woman expressed her own interpretation of his woes. “To me, he’s upset over us not being together in a made-up world that doesn’t exist”, she stated frankly. 

Questioning Herself 

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The woman had always ensured that she was up-front and honest with her fiancé, believing this to be invaluable to their relationship. However, she had begun to fear that her honesty was too frank for the man and that she should have made more effort to be understanding, without leaning towards pretending that she believed the same things as he did. 

Asking for Advice 

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The woman struggled to fathom how to move forward and headed online to seek advice from her favorite internet forum. “You shouldn’t convert unless you believe”, advised one reader. “If it was so important to him, he should have stated this earlier on in the relationship.”

Time to Talk

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Most readers felt that neither the woman nor her fiancé were in the wrong, but a serious conversation was needed. “This is a really good conversation to have NOW before you are married”, suggested another reader. “There were apparently a lot of assumptions made by both of you that need clearing up right now.”

Think of the Kids 

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In response to the previous comment, one person pointed out the importance of this discussion in relation to having children. “If he expects you to convert, I bet he has expectations that his children will be raised Christian as well”, they hypothesized. 

A Disaster Waiting to Happen 

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Unfortunately, many readers agreed with a comment that offered a rather pessimistic view of the future of the couple’s relationship. “I’m baffled that two people could get engaged without having actually addressed this elephant in the room”, the commenter expressed. “You’re both insanely naïve and this marriage is a disaster waiting to happen.”

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Source: Reddit