A man decided not to attend his sister’s wedding because she refused to pay him back money after he had covered her medical expenses. Was he in the wrong? Here’s what he had to say:
The Man Missed His Sister’s Wedding
He explained, “My sister, Ashley, had her wedding yesterday, but I didn’t attend it.”
He Paid For Her Medical Expenses
Two years ago, the sister went through clinical depression. The man had helped her pay for the treatment because she didn’t have the money. He added, “I was the one who paid everything for her. None of her friends had helped, and neither did any of our other relatives.”
The Man Asked Her For Money
His sister had recovered and he urgently needed some money. After asking his sister, she refused and told him that she couldn’t help and not to ask again.
She Continued To Refuse
He explained, “I was shocked considering how much I had spent on her, and when she continued to refuse I asked her whether she had forgotten what I had done for her.”
His Sister Was Ungrateful
The man explained, “She asked me how I can say that I cured her when it was the medicines that worked and that I wasn’t the doctor. She said it was the medicines and the doctor that treated her and not me. I didn’t argue.”
He Decided Not To Go To Her Wedding
When the wedding date was decided, the man told his sister that he was not attending. He added, “She was surprised and asked me why, and I told her that I have better things to do with my time than attending weddings of people like her.”
His Sister Was Upset
She asked him what the problem was and expressed that she wanted everyone to be there. He told her that she had offended him by dismissing what he had done for her.
An Argument Erupted
He explained, “I told her that she’s extremely ungrateful for not helping me with money when she could have. I told her I hadn’t even asked for the money I had spent on her, but she had no humanity at all.” Their family begged him to attend but he didn’t, and didn’t congratulate her.
He Later Clarified The Situation
He explained, “I had asked her for $600 and spent around $15-20k for her treatment. I know she had the money because she’d recently got a job that was high enough and she would have been able to pay me. The wedding was being paid for by our parents and the groom.”
Was He In The Wrong?
Did he overreact by not attending the wedding? Should he have handled the situation differently?
He Turned To The Internet For Advice
One user commented, “It is one thing if she had said “I can’t help you because I don’t have the money”, which would have been fair. But “forgetting” who paid for treatment is a nasty move. That being said, I would be very clear with the rest of the family as to why you refused to go. Don’t be insulting, just state how this happened and made you feel.”
Another User Asked
“Did you actually say you cured her? The difference between helped and cured is huge, so I think that detail is important.”
Someone Shared Their Perspective
“I don’t see you bringing up the help you gave her as using it as leverage but as simply saying “I helped you because you’re family, why can’t you help me?” which is a fair question.”
Another Gave Their Opinion
“If you’re just going to hold what you did over her head and act as if that money is owed to you, you both screwed up and it might help to actually talk with each other about why you are hurt and if you truly expect any repayment from her in the future.”
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