This couple’s decision to make their wedding childfree caused a rift with their brother and his wife, who wanted their son to attend the wedding. Here is what they had to say:
An Exciting Time
Alex and Sarah were excited to plan their upcoming wedding. They had decided to make their wedding a childfree event to keep it more organized and contained. They didn’t have kids yet so didn’t feel like they needed to invite anyone else’s.
Rainbow Baby
However, Alex’s brother Chris and his wife were not happy when they found out that their 3-year-old son, who was known as a “miracle” or “rainbow” baby, was not included in the no-children rule.
Blessings to All
Chris tried to convince Alex to make an exception for his son, saying that his presence at the wedding would bring blessings for the couple. However, Alex refused and explained that the wedding was childfree. Chris’s wife even sent pictures of their son as a baby to Alex’s fiancée, trying to sway their decision.
This Child is Somehow Different
Alex’s brother continued to push the issue, pointing out how his son was different because he was a miracle baby. Alex remained firm, but when Chris and his wife visited their home and continued to bring up the topic, Alex had had enough. He pulled out flashcards with the phrase “the wedding is childfree, period” and showed them to his brother and sister-in-law.
“You’re a Jerk!”
Chris and his wife were stunned and walked out, with Chris calling Alex a jerk for disrespecting him, his wife, and their son. Alex’s parents and Chris were livid and told everyone about the disrespect and mockery that Alex had displayed towards them. They demanded that Alex “fix it” immediately.
Torn Between Love and Childfree Peace
Alex was torn between his desire to have a childfree wedding and his love for his family. He didn’t want to ruin his relationship with his brother and his nephew, but he also didn’t want to compromise on his wedding plans. Alex’s fiancée thought the flashcards were funny, but his parents and brother were not amused.
Straight to the Internet
Alex decided to ask for some advice. He wasn’t sure if he was actually a jerk here and he didn’t want to cause any conflict, he just didn’t want kids at his wedding. He posted on a popular internet forum and asked for people’s opinions.
The Internet Responded
One person commented this opinion, “Well, I suppose you could have used hand puppets instead, but flashcards seem to have gotten the message across. It makes me insane how some parents think their little bundle of joy should be allowed anywhere at anytime and that ‘no’ never applies to them. It’s pretty clear they were going to run this horse right up to the altar.”
More Internet Comments
Another commenter posted and said this, “Not the jerk, at all. Yes, after all the pain and struggle they went through, after all the losses they suffered, your nephew is a miracle. But, so is every child that is born. And every child can also be an annoying little beep that gets cranky and tired and bored when adults are doing boring adult things like weddings. It doesn’t make you a jerk to not want cranky toddlers at your wedding having meltdowns, and it doesn’t make you a bad uncle to save your nephew from the meltdowns.”
A Final Comment
This last person wrote, “Not a bad brother to give brother and SIL a night off away from their 3 year old. If he was only 3 months, and you were getting annoyed because they wouldn’t come without him, then yeah, you would be a bit of a jerk. But he’s 3 years old. He can handle a babysitter watching him. Heaven help the child when he starts school.”
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