A woman had 5 stepchildren, four of whom cared for her a lot and treated her as their mother. The remaining stepchild had never expressed any care for the woman and had actively avoided her, yet he would soon come to her with a demand that would provoke anger within her.
Adopting Her Stepchildren
Many years ago, the woman had married a man who had 5 children. She cared for the children as her own and even ended up adopting them whilst they were still young, except for one exception – Nick.
Nick Didn’t Care for Her
Unlike the other children who had actively treated the woman like a mother, Nick didn’t show her any love and refused to be adopted. “He never wanted me to be his mom which is fine”, she explained. “However, the moment he turned 18, he made it very clear he doesn’t care about me at all, which hurt to hear”.
Keeping His Distance
As he began his adult life, Nick actively excluded his stepmother from his life. Whenever he was hosting family events or celebrations, he would invite his entire family, except for his stepmother.
The woman explained that Nick’s negative attitude crossed a line when he expressed to her how little he cared to see her: “He told me that he would only come to the Christmas gathering that I was hosting if I left, so we now have very little contact.”
Falling Out with Siblings
However, the woman was not the only family member excluded from Nick’s life. After a while, Nick also ruined his relationships with his four siblings. By this point, he had a wife and two children, but actively excluded most of his family from being a present part of their lives.
A Request for Help
One day, Nick made a phone call to his stepmother, which she was extremely surprised by. “We started talking, and he complained about not getting help to raise his kids”, she recounted. “He asked me to start watching them on Sundays and step up as a grandparent.”
A Blunt Response
The woman couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I told him that the reason that I offered no support was due to him burning his support network down”, she remembered. “He called me a jerk and hung up.”
The woman was outraged by Nick’s sudden request. She was reluctant to have any involvement in supporting his children considering how he had actively excluded her from his life.
Her Husband’s Views
The woman’s husband, the biological father of Nick, held mixed views regarding the situation. However, he ultimately believed that this was his wife’s decision to make, especially considering he traveled for work a lot, and therefore helping with Nick’s children on Sundays would be her sole responsibility.
Telling Her Story
The woman headed online to vent her frustration and tell her story, asking readers to chime in with their views. “You’ve done nothing wrong”, defended one reader. “If he trusts you enough as a person to help raise his kids, the problem was never you. “The problem was always Nick.”
Everyone believed that Nick was acting incredibly selfishly. “He called to complain about how he isn’t getting help, but he didn’t say that he regrets messing up his relationships”, another reader pointed out. “He wants something from you, he doesn’t want you. This sucks, please prioritize yourself and the people in your life who actually care about you.”
Facing the Consequences
“Actions have outcomes”, another commenter stated. “He chose to erode any family connections he had over the years. He can’t come back now and complain that those connections aren’t around to help him now that he needs them. He now has to accept the outcomes of his actions.”
Don’t Get Involved
Overall, the general consensus was that the mother should stay out of Nick’s woes. “There is no way I would get involved with him or his kids”, a commenter wrote. “He’s made it very clear for years that you mean nothing to him. Your husband shouldn’t be so ambivalent about this – he should solidly have your back.”
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