A man wanted his daughter to take more financial responsibility for herself, but she wanted him to fund her Ivy league education. His wife took her side, and now the man is left questioning if he is in the wrong. Here is what he had to say:
Their Daughter Was Attending College Soon
The man said, “Me and my wife have a 17-year-old daughter who is in the stage in life where she needs to think about college.”
They Had A Plan
Originally, the man and his wife planned to pay for their daughter to attend two years at a local community college and then two years at a university to complete her bachelor’s degree.
But She Wanted To Go Ivy League Colleges
Their daughter initially agreed to this plan, but recently she changed her mind and expressed a desire to attend all four years at an Ivy League school, influenced by what her friends are doing.
He Wanted To Spend His Money On Retirement
However, the man was not on board with this idea, as it would significantly impact their early retirement plans, adding an extra $50,000 or more to their expenses. He saw it as an unreasonable financial burden and firmly disagrees with it.
He Stood His Ground
Additionally, the man pointed out that their daughter didn’t have substantial savings to cover expenses like living in an apartment away from home, so they would likely have to foot that bill as well. The man firmly stood by his decision and saw it as a big financial commitment that required both spouses’ approval.
He Wanted Her To Take More Responsibility
Even though the man and his wife could technically afford it, he doesn’t want to sacrifice their retirement goals for this expense. He clarified that he is not forbidding his daughter from attending the Ivy League school, but he expected her to take on a larger portion of the financial responsibility, such as getting loans to cover the costs if she’s determined to go.
His Wife Took Her Side
The man explained, “She’s been guilting my wife and now she feels bad for her and thinks we should do it. Apparently, she thinks she is going to miss out on a huge opportunity and will feel excluded from her friend group.
Her Comments Annoyed Him
The man added, “Community college is also “lame” in my daughter’s mind which is an incredibly privileged thing to say in my opinion.”
Was The Man In The Wrong
The man’s mother-in-law also got involved and took his daughter’s side as well. The man was left feeling like the “villain”, even though he felt he was being reasonable and practical. He found himself questioning if he is in the wrong for prioritizing his financial goals over funding his daughter’s Ivy League education.
The Internet Responded
One person said, “If she wants years of crippling student debt, she can make that decision for herself. Give what you are comfortable giving, then the rest is on her.”
Another Person Commented
“If your daughter is intelligent enough to be admitted to the ivy league schools, she should be able to apply for enough scholarships to cover most of the cost.”
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