A woman recently asked if she was wrong for not wanting a new dog that her husband was pressuring her into getting. She feels a dog is a big responsibility but her husband doesn’t think it’s a problem. Here’s what she had to say:
The Bond with the Old Dog
This year on Easter, a long-serving pet in a family, a dog of 14 years, passed away. Although primarily the husband’s pet, the wife ended up taking care of him 70% of the time due to her husband’s work travel. The dog, however, never warmed up to her. “It was a lot of work to care for an aging dog who showed no real affection towards me, but I still loved him and did it happily,” the wife expresses.
The Remaining Dog
In addition to the old dog, the couple also has another dog that’s now 10 years old. This dog was adopted together by the couple and has always been seen as “the wife’s dog.” Now the sole pet, she receives all the care and affection.
The Current Situation
Currently, the wife is juggling her career, their two small kids, and the remaining dog. She admits, “I’m just sort of enjoying not having yet another creature to care for.”
The Unexpected News
Unexpectedly, the husband reveals that he signed up on a waiting list for a new puppy from the same breeders where their in-laws got their dog. He informs his wife that a puppy is available for them to adopt by the end of August. This is a surprise as their plan was to discuss getting a new dog in August, not actually get one then. He further pressures her to make a decision within two days.
The Wife’s Thoughts
The wife is not keen on this particular puppy, primarily because it’s not a specific breed, or an older rescue dog whose behavior around small kids is predictable. Also, the puppy will grow into a big dog, adding to her concerns. She tells her husband she’s not ready for another dog, expecting him to understand. But instead, he reacts emotionally and decides to stay in a hotel for the night.
Her Stand on the Matter
She feels she’s not being selfish by saying no to the dog, clarifying, “it’s not a no forever, just a no until we can decide on the right dog together.” She’s upset that her husband only gave her 48 hours to decide, knowing about the opportunity for a month. She understands his emotional attachment to this particular puppy as it shares parents with his father’s dog, but she still believes a mutual decision is essential.
The Husband’s Reaction
The husband’s response takes her by surprise. While he is known for being dramatic to get his way, he has never stayed in a hotel to pressure a situation before. This unusual reaction leaves her in a dilemma.
Questioning Her Decision
In the end, she is left questioning her decision, wondering if she has been unfair for saying no to the puppy that her husband clearly wants. She asks, “So am I wrong for saying no to this puppy he clearly really wants?”
One user said, “He completely ignored what you two agreed upon and left because you didn’t agree. This is not okay. At all. You get a say in what dog and when. Not selfish at all.”
Another noted, “NTA and let hubby continue to stay at the hotel until he comes to his senses. A dog is a big commitment, and both parents need to agree. He tried to manipulate you by springing it on you hoping you’d just agree. Stand firm in your ‘no.”
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