A woman struggles with the decision of whether to forgive her mother after she called the police for a wellness check on her and her partner, leading to a traumatic experience, but eventually decides to give her mother another chance after she apologizes and respects her boundaries.
A Whole New World
The woman and her partner, named X, were excited to start their new life in their new community, but X had a hard time adjusting to the loss of their support system back home. The woman’s own family consisted only of her mother, who had lived far away from them for a few years already, so the adjustment was easier for her.
A Lapse in Judgement
However, after a stressful move, X had a lapse in his recovery and drank a few beers that a neighbor had left on their porch. Although he didn’t get drunk, the woman was worried and concerned that he drank and tried to hide it from her.
A Motherly Shoulder to Cry On
Feeling the need to talk to someone, she called her mother, who routinely called her 3-4 times a week to complain about her co-workers and neighbors. However, her mother was very unsupportive and disengaged during their conversation, and when the woman’s phone died mid-conversation, she didn’t rush to call her back.
The Cops are Calling!
Instead, she went outside to talk to X and check on him. When she came back inside 15 minutes later, her phone was ringing off the hook. When she answered, it was a police officer asking her to confirm her name and address.
Wellness Check
The cop informed her that officers were on their way to her as someone had called in a ‘Wellness Check’. The woman immediately called her mother and demanded an explanation. Her mother proudly admitted to calling the police, claiming that hanging up on her was suspicious.
A Terrifying Experience
When the woman pushed back on that excuse, her mother got angry and said it was her own fault, among other nasty things. The experience was scary for the woman and X, as five cop cruisers showed up on their lawn, and the officers repeatedly tried to force their way into their home.
She Demanded an Apology
After the police left, the woman called her mother again and demanded an apology. However, her mother refused to apologize, and the woman realized that she could no longer trust her. She enforced a boundary, telling her mother that she would no longer be speaking to her if she couldn’t apologize for calling the police unnecessarily. Her mother hung up on her, and the woman hasn’t heard from her since.
Was She the Jerk?
The woman wondered if she was the jerk for enforcing this boundary, as her mother had no friends and she was her only family she could talk to. She felt guilty as the weeks passed by, but she knew that her mother had never apologized in her life, and she needed to stand up for herself and her partner.
Traumatic
The incident with the police had been traumatic for them, and they needed to set boundaries to protect their mental health and well-being. The woman knew that her mother’s behavior was unacceptable, and she couldn’t allow it to continue.
The Internet Responded
This commenter wrote, “What she did was a gross over-reaction which escalated an already strained situation into something which, frankly, could have seen serious consequences.”
More Internet Comments
Another person commented, “I’d say this behavior is well beyond what you could call an ‘over-reaction.’ It sounds like OP’s mom deliberately used the police to punish OP for accidentally hanging up on her, since OP says in a comment there’s no history of abuse from her husband. Making up a domestic disturbance call is serious stuff.”
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