Julia’s daughter’s new friend made a hurtful comment about Julia’s weight during dinner, and Julia wants an apology from the friend before allowing her daughter to invite her over again, but her husband thinks she’s being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14-year-old.
Socially Awkward
Julia, a 37-year-old mother of two, has a 14-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son with her husband, who is 41 years old. Julia’s daughter has always been socially awkward, and they had her tested for autism, but it turned out that she was just naturally introverted.
A New Friend
This year, Julia was thrilled when her daughter made a new friend her own age, as making friends is an area in which she struggles. The friend came over for dinner, and Julia’s husband cooked a nice meal. Julia was so excited for her daughter.
That Was Uncalled For
During dinner, Julia asked the friend if she was enjoying the food, and the friend responded with an uncalled-for insult, saying that Julia’s husband was a great cook and no wonder Julia ended up a bigger woman.
An Apology for the Sake of the Friendship?
Julia was hurt by the comment and wanted an apology from the friend before allowing her daughter to invite her over again. However, her daughter didn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation and didn’t want to bring it up again. Julia’s husband suggested that she let it go for the sake of their daughter and the friendship between the girls.
Understanding the Rudeness
“I just want an apology from the girl,” Julia said. “I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and my daughter hanging out.” Julia didn’t think that what she was asking for was unreasonable.
Her Husband Thought it was Weird
Julia’s husband thought that she was being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14-year-old, especially since the girl was such a good friend of their daughter. However, Julia couldn’t help but feel like an apology was necessary to move forward.
Own Up When You Mess Up
“I think it’s weird that I’m still waiting for an apology from that same girl,” Julia said. “Seriously. That’s all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw-ups.”
Has She Overreacted?
Julia wondered if she was overreacting and if there was anything else she could do to resolve the situation. She hoped that the friend would eventually apologize and that they could all move forward.
Straight to the Internet
Julia didn’t know how to solve this situation. She wasn’t sure how to get an apology if the girl didn’t want to give one, but she also felt like it was necessary in order to move forward. Julia decided to turn to the internet for advice. She posted on a popular internet forum and waited for help.
The Internet Responded
This commenter posted, “Did it ever occur to you that the reason this girl and your daughter “clicked” as friends is that they’re both socially awkward? She’s a 14 year-old kid. Even with the best social skills, they often put their foot in their mouths. Let it go. Don’t ruin your daughter’s friendship because your ego was hurt by one off hand comment.”
More Internet Responses
Another person commented, “You should have acted like an adult and gently redirected. Have the kid back – if something happens again and it has a malicious tone then yeah, go all Gandalf on her. You’re just hurting your daughter by continuing to hold a grudge on a teenager.”
A Final Comment
This last person wrote, “Kids make mistakes. They’re not adults. They may do and say stupid things. Give them a chance and they will eventually learn the best way to handle social situations. You, on the other hand, can really, really hold a grudge. Very adult of you.”
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