A woman worked in an engineering company, holding a significant position as a programmer. This job involved hosting and attending a lot of meetings, but these meetings were often characterized by arguments and short tempers, a toxic work culture that the woman was unwilling to put up with.
Her Co-Workers
A lot of the woman’s co-workers were older men, who were very focused on their families and careers. On the other hand, she was a 22-year-old woman, openly lesbian and single, and she often found herself feeling like an outsider.
Intense Work Culture
The woman explained how the workplace dynamics took a toll on her mental well-being. “A lot of my co-workers can get pretty heated about things, they are really opinionated about engineering decisions and their conversations get… intense. They raise their voices, yell about disagreements, and some even pride themselves on getting new employees to cry.”
Standing Her Ground
When the woman held design or code meetings, a common occurrence was colleagues trying to engage her in confrontations. However, she maintained her composure and refused to be drawn into arguments. Her calm demeanor created an unfamiliar dynamic, making it difficult for them to escalate the situation.
Disagreements Among Each Other
The situation escalated when disagreements arose among her co-workers, not just with her but also with each other. Some supported her design choices, while others opposed them. These arguments often derailed meetings, leading to unproductive chaos.
Taking a Stand
Faced with the toxic environment, the woman adopted a coping mechanism. “I’ve gotten in the habit of unplugging my computer (which shows my code or diagrams) from the projector and walking out”, she explained.
Sending an Email
After such meetings, the woman also followed up by exposing her co-workers’ poor attitudes via e-mail. She would explain in the emails that the meeting had been canceled due to their poor behaviors, and when she rescheduled them, she hoped that they would act more maturely.
Finding Mental Relief
This approach provided the woman with much-needed emotional relief. Escaping the constant drama and ego clashes felt liberating, allowing her to maintain her sanity after growing weary of the toxic environment.
A Successful Tactic
The woman explained that not only did the tactic ease her mind, but it often helped to improve the behavior of her colleagues. “When certain people on my team realize they’ll have to keep control of themselves to get any work done, they manage to hold it together next time.”
A Double-Edged Sword
However, this didn’t sit well with certain colleagues. The most argumentative members of her team resented her for walking out and viewed it as an attempt to assert control over them. Additionally, it led to delays in completing work, as time was wasted waiting for everyone to calm down and refocus.
Frustration and Demands
As the woman’s co-workers grew increasingly frustrated, they sometimes demanded that she return and finish the meetings instead of rescheduling. This was more common when rescheduling caused delays in critical tasks they needed to complete.
Sharing Her Tactic
The woman decided to share her strategy with the internet, whilst also asking readers whether they felt she taking things too far. To her relief, everyone seemed to love her technique. “Honestly, that sounds like a nightmare and you seem to handle it well”, praised one reader. “Can’t you just report the people who constantly derail meetings to someone higher up?”
A Good Leader
Many people thought the woman’s tactics sounded like exactly what the workplace needed. “Honestly, it sounds like this team desperately needs you to whip them into shape”, another reader praised. “You might be the only person capable of doing it without getting sucked into their terrible behavior.”
Wasting Her Time
Despite doing what she could, many readers still believed the woman was better off finding a new job. “They are wasting your time by acting this way”, one commenter pointed out. “It’s not your job to babysit them, and they’re supposed to be adults.”
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Source: Reddit