A man was the loving father of his 25-year-old daughter and had always cherished their relationship. However, the daughter was a diagnosed sociopath, and this often weighed heavily on the man’s conscience, particularly in regard to her future with her boyfriend.
The man explained how his daughter had exhibited disturbing behavior from a young age: “She struggled heavily, getting in lots of trouble in school for lying, cruelty, and all other types of misbehaviors.”
Therapy and Progress
However, thanks to an abundance of therapy and support, the man’s daughter began to show improvement as she grew older. Her bad behavior was gradually minimized, but her diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) at 18 came as no surprise to the man, who had long suspected it.
A Productive Life
As she matured, the woman’s life took a more productive turn. She became law-abiding, secured a decent job, pursued higher education, and established numerous friendships. She had been in a relationship with a kind, funny, and intelligent boyfriend for about a year and a half.
Her Absence of Love
Despite the façade of a normal life, the man harbored doubts about his daughter’s emotional capacity. “I doubt she loves him”, he explained. “She’s been open with me that she doesn’t feel love or empathy towards anyone, even family. She acted very sad over the death of one of her closest friends at their funeral, yet she confessed to me privately that it was all fake.”
The Boyfriend’s Ignorance
However, the woman’s boyfriend remained unaware of his girlfriend’s ASPD diagnosis. She had made it clear to her father that she had no intention of disclosing this information to him, fearing it might drive him away.
The Father’s Dilemma
However, the man believed that his daughter’s boyfriend had the right to know and consider this crucial aspect of her life before marriage. He became torn between his love and respect for his daughter and his desire for her boyfriend to have all the facts.
Despite voicing his concerns, the man’s daughter dismissed him, refusing to disclose her diagnosis to her boyfriend. “I’ve made it clear to her that she needs to tell him that if she doesn’t tell him, I will”, he explained.
However, the woman did not take her father’s threats seriously. “She always responds, ‘I know you wouldn’t dare’, but I actually would – I really like and respect this young man, and would feel awful keeping this “secret” from him, and letting him walk into a marriage without this essential piece of knowledge.
The Ultimate Decision
The man grappled with his serious ethical dilemma. He truly believed that it was his responsibility to inform his daughter’s boyfriend of her diagnosis if she refused to do so herself. However, he was also aware that this would deeply upset his daughter, and could even have the potential to destroy their relationship.
The man confessed his plan on an internet forum, asking readers whether they felt it was a good idea or not. Whilst everyone sympathized with the man, most people recognized it was a deeply troubling decision to make. “Damn, what if it does destroy their relationship?”, one reader feared. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know if you should follow through with telling him or not.”
He Should Tell Him
However, many readers took a more firm stance. “What an awful situation to be in”, another reader sympathized. “I know she’s your daughter but this is marriage for this guy, and he deserves to know. You already told her you were going to tell if she didn’t, so I think you should.”
Think of the Kids
One commenter pointed out that this wasn’t just about the boyfriend. “What if they have children?”, they asked. “She has ASPD, which could present some dangerous and scary parenting scenarios.”
It Could Be Genetic
The previous comment marked a significant shift in perspective for other readers. “Yeh, simply for any future children they may have, you need to tell him”, another commenter agreed. “It’s really going to suck to find out he is co-parenting with a sociopath, and what if ASPD is genetic? He definitely deserves to know.”
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