Was This Man Showing Favouritism when He Supported His Academically Gifted Daughter Through College but Not His Underperforming Son? Was His Son Right to Cut Him Off?

A man’s ex-wife and son, Jim, were furious at him for not fully funding Jim’s college education as he did for his academically gifted daughter, Lilly. But the man thought Jim would benefit more from community college. Here is what he had to say:

He Had Two Children

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The man explained, “I have two children, my daughter Lilly and my son Jim. Jim graduated high school this year, and Lily is in her third year of college. For the past few months, I have gotten massive amounts of trouble from my ex-wife because I won’t pay for Jim’s college costs entirely like I currently do Lilly’s.”

His Son Wouldn’t Speak To Him

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The man’s decision had upset his son Jim, and he had not spoken to his father in over a month. However, the man felt he was in the right because there was a significant difference between his two children’s situations.

He Covered His Daughter’s College Fees

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Lilly had always been academically gifted, graduating high school with a 4.0 GPA. She earned a full scholarship to a prestigious college, and the man generously covered her housing, school supplies, and other expenses. Even with the scholarship, Lilly worked as a student lab tech to earn money.

His Son’s Situation Was Different

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On the other hand, Jim had a much different academic record. Graduating with a 2.1 GPA, he never prioritized school, and at times, he stopped attending classes entirely, which the man partially blamed on his ex-wife’s leniency.

They Assumed He Would Cover The Cost

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To the man’s surprise, Jim applied to colleges and got accepted into the lowest-ranking one in the state. However, the tuition for that college was exorbitant, and both Jim and his mother assumed the man would cover the costs, just as he did for Lilly.

But He Refused

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The man disagreed strongly, firmly believing that Jim’s past performance and lack of effort did not warrant such financial support. He offered to pay for Jim to attend a community college to complete his general education requirements, but he was not willing to provide full support for the expensive college, given his doubts about Jim’s commitment to education.

It Caused Family Drama

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The man explained, “Jim and his mother have made my life a living hell since then. They have told me I am playing favorites and making sure Jim has no chance to start his life off.”

But Other People Supported His Decision

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However, the man’s family and Lilly supported his decision, acknowledging the vast disparity between the financial support Lilly received and what Jim wanted.

Was The Man In The Wrong?

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Despite the mounting pressure, the man remained resolute, believing his stance was justified. Jim chose to cut off all communication with him, while his ex-wife continued to pester him, insisting that he could still “make it right.” The man said, “I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong here, and there’s no way I’m going to give him the money, but I need to know if I’m in the wrong with my thinking.”

The Internet Responded

One person said, “The kid would be much better off going to community college right now. He could get an associate’s and possibly a good job, e.g., in the medical tech field. There is nothing wrong with starting at a community college; if he does well, he could conceivably transfer to a better school once he’s proven himself to the academic world.”

Another Person Commented

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“I don’t think it would be fair to Lilly if her brother got more money from you despite his poor GPA and academic record, while she is by all accounts a hardworking student who got a full scholarship, so her college fund is (I assume) instead being put toward housing. Community college is a perfectly valid path to get one’s start in life if one wants to go to college.”

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