A Man Asks Substantially Higher-Earning Wife to Financially Support His Parents, She Refuses, He Argues She Has No Problem Supporting Her Own Parents, Is He Entitled?

A man’s wife contributed much more money towards household expenses as she earned much more, but when she refused to help financially support his parents, he was hurt and angry. Here is what he had to say:

She Contributed More Financially

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The man explained, “My wife has a high-paying job and earns significantly more than I do. I work as a teacher and make around 40k, while she works in the private sector and makes £300-400k after tax. We split our finances equitably, with her paying 70% to my 30%.”

Her Family Had Been Successful

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Her family had a background of successful immigrants, with both of her parents moving to the country to provide a better life for their daughters. Consequently, his wife and her sisters achieved high-paying jobs, with one working in technology and the other as a surgeon.

His Family Had A Different Background

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On the other hand, his family had a lower income, with his parents working government jobs and his sister relying on benefits.

His Wife Had Helped His Sister

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When his younger sister became a single mother, his wife offered her a secretary job at her office to help out. However, his sister quit after a month, finding it too challenging to manage the job and raise a baby on her own.

He Was Annoyed


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Recently, his wife’s parents retired, and she and her sister began giving her parents £2000 per month. He found it excessive and questioned the need for £6k when they had pensions.

She Thought His Parents Were His Responsibility

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His wife clarified that the money did not come from their joint account and justified it by stating her parents’ sacrifices in immigrating for their family’s success. She believed it was her responsibility to support her parents, while his parents should be his responsibility.

They Argued

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He raised the issue that his parents were also retired and could use financial help, but his wife suggested that if he could afford to support them from his salary, he should do so. He said, “I was shocked and angry; my parents only had me to depend on while her sisters made a lot of money, so her parents would be fine either way.”

She Didn’t Trust His Family To Pay Her Back

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They had previously argued about lending money to his sister for a house down payment, and his wife refused, citing concerns about his sister’s reliability in paying back the loan.

Was The Man In The Wrong?

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The man was frustrated by his wife’s reluctance to support his family financially, especially when she earned significantly more. He felt she was being selfish, given that he would be willing to help her family in a similar situation.

The Internet Responded

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One person said, “Your sense of entitlement is vast. You could end up living on only your salary if you keep up this attitude. Get a side hustle if you want to support your folks so much.”

Another Person Commented

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“I’m kind of getting the impression your family is a bit entitled. Your wife helps your sister get a job, but she quits it. You demand your wife lend your sister money, your sister who lives on benefits, who aren’t working, and who most likely won’t pay it back?”

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