A 23-year-old woman had been providing transportation to her fiancé, Eric, for nearly a year. After one too many instances of his tardiness causing her to be late to work, he made an unreasonable demand. Here is what she had to say:
Eric’s workplace was devoid of affordable parking options. The cheapest options available demanded nearly $200 per month, a financial burden he claimed to be unable to afford.
The Unspoken Favor
Despite the extra 25 minutes added to her daily commute, the woman willingly chauffeured Eric to and from his job without requesting gas money, finding her willingness to assist him a small act of love.
In exchange for her transportation, the woman did have one request: “The only thing I ask of him is that he be ready on time to leave in the mornings”, she explained. “Eric has a very chill job, where if he’s late to his office it really doesn’t matter. My job is the opposite – I open the office every morning, and so I have to be there at a set time.”
However, the woman described Eric as having “chronic tardiness”. Whilst she adhered to a strict morning schedule to reach her job promptly, Eric frequently arrived late for their designated departure time.
Frustrated by his consistent tardiness, the woman often found herself going quiet in the car, conveying her irritation without raising her voice or resorting to harsh words.
The Morning Confrontation
After another morning of Eric’s late departure, the woman calmly informed him that his habitual lateness was causing her professional inconvenience. “I told him that I couldn’t keep being late to work, and he really needs to be ready on time.”
A Startling Proposal
Eric’s response was unexpected. The woman explained: ‘To my surprise, he then said that he didn’t feel it was “worth it” to have to deal with me being “so angry” in the mornings, and that after we get married in a few weeks, he wanted to start driving himself to work and having us pay for the parking garage.’
The Financial Discord
In a calm yet direct manner, the woman questioned the financial shift. Eric’s prior reluctance to contribute to gas or parking now seemed to have changed in light of their impending marriage.
A Financial Standoff
After highlighting Eric’s previous reluctance to share these expenses when they were dating, the woman told him of her intention not to contribute to this expense, given their tight budgets, especially with his looming student loan payments.
An Explosive Reaction
Eric’s response was explosive. He accused her of controlling his finances, asserting that her income superiority should not grant her the right to dictate his choices. The argument reached a boiling point, leaving them in silence.
The woman felt conflicted by the unexpected drama. She believed that none of this would have happened if Eric had simply ensured he was ready in the mornings on time. Despite this, she questioned whether she was wrong to assert that she would not contribute to his future parking costs if that was how he wanted things to play out.
The woman headed online, posting her story for scrutiny from strangers. However, the only person to receive scrutiny was Eric. “This is a big red flag”, commented one of many people. “It’s too much when it’s his money, but not when it’s your money. Please take a hard look at his disrespect of your job, boundaries, and financials.”
A Serious Discussion
Everyone felt that Eric was acting childish, and this needed to be addressed if the relationship were to progress. “His commute and getting to his job is his responsibility, not yours”, another commenter pointed out. “You might need to have a wider conversation about money and finances prior to marriage”
This last suggestion was echoed throughout the entire comment section. “Please stop waiting for things to sort out and hoping he gets better”, one reader begged. “Face the truth and have a serious conversation with him about finances and partnership. This guy shows too little respect for you.”
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