A man went through a divorce after discovering his wife’s affair and that his youngest child wasn’t biologically his. The divorce strained his relationships with his children. The man’s own father began to take a larger role in their upbringing but was left questioning if he was making the situation worse. Here is what he had to say:
They Got Divorced
The grandfather explained, “My 44-year-old son found out a couple of years ago that his wife had an affair and that their youngest son isn’t his biologically. He was 6 years old at the time. He has two other children, that are his biologically. Since then he and his ex-wife have gotten a divorce, and he has partial custody over his two biological children, while his ex has full custody of the youngest.”
The Man Stopped Showing Affection
The youngest child was deeply hurt when the man he thought was his father stopped showing him affection and said he wasn’t his father anymore.
The Son Became Troubled
He had been in therapy for three years and had trouble at school, possibly due to bullying.
His Children Became Distant
The oldest child also became distant from his father and sought help from his grandfather instead. The grandfather explained, “Honestly I’m pretty sure he has dinner with grandma and grandpa more often than he does either of his parents.”
They Spent More Time With Their Grandparents
The youngest child also continued to visit the grandfather’s house frequently. The divorce also caused the 13-year-old daughter to distance herself from her parents.
And Made Their Feelings Public
Recently, tensions escalated. During the son’s graduation, he ignored his father and focused on his grandfather. He even posted a picture on Instagram with a caption emphasizing his grandfather’s role in his life.
The Grandfather Started To Replace The Father
The son also invited him to join a Father’s Day weekend trip with his boy scout troop instead of his own father.
The Father Became Upset
The father was frustrated that his relationship was getting worse with his children and felt his own father was taking on his role.
Was The Grandfather In The Wrong?
The grandfather’s wife believes that his son’s other two children lost trust in him after he distanced himself from the youngest. The grandfather was left questioning whether he had made the situation worse.
The Internet Responded
One person said, “You are showing up as the youngest boy’s grandfather. The others, as you say, have formed a bond with you because you have shown yourself reliable, unconditionally – which is what children need.”
Another Person Commented
“Your son showed all of the children that love is conditional and arbitrary. I agree that they are pre-abandoning him, and he deserves it. They don’t trust him. They have seen what he did to their sibling and the pain that it caused. I doubt they trust their mother either since her actions precipitated this.”
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