A Man Is Constantly Pressured by His Wife to Send Money to Her Family in China, But He is Worried They’ll Never Pay It Back

The man’s wife requested for him to loan $10,000 to help her brother, who lives in China with a property purchase. The man was concerned about repayment and was not willing to do so. This causes issues with the relationship. Here is what he had to say.

His Wife Asked Him For The Money

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The man explained, “I was asked by my wife about the bonus I received at work this year. When I told her about what I got, she asked me if I could loan her $10,000. Since she’s never asked me for this before, I asked what it was for. She said it was to “help” her brother buy a house, and she would give him the loan and pay me back in monthly installments of $1,000”

She Didn’t Want to Loan The Money Herself

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However, he asked his wife why she wouldn’t give him the loan directly, but she explained that she wanted a financial buffer for herself. The man explained that he and his wife had a joint account for bills but didn’t mix finances aside from that.

He Had a Lot of Questions

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He wasn’t convinced and questioned his wife. “Was it a gift?”, he asked. “No”, his wife responded, her brother would pay her back. “How would the money be sent to him?” The wife would do the transfer. “When is he planning on paying you back?”, he asked. “He’ll pay it back, but he has no idea when”, his wife replied.

He Wasn’t Convinced

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Despite his wife’s confidence in repaying the loan, the man couldn’t shake his worries. He was worried that her brother might be taking advantage of their marriage, using the excuse that he was a wealthy American to avoid paying back the money. The fact that her brother lived in China made any legal action nearly impossible.

He Has Bad Experiences Lending Money Before

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Added to the man’s worries was the fact he’d been “burned for loaning friends/family money in the past.”

They Argued

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He was apprehensive, and in the end, his wife said she wouldn’t loan her brother the money, but she couldn’t rely on him for financial help anymore, even though they shared responsibility for bills.

Things Got Heated

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He tried suggesting alternatives, but his wife shut down the conversation, leaving a tense atmosphere between them.

Was The Man Right?

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Reflecting on the situation, the man questioned whether he was at fault. On the one hand, he believed he could afford to lend the money, and his wife seemed confident in repaying it. On the other hand, he recognized the risks involved in lending money to family, especially without any legal recourse. His research had also revealed the instability of China’s real estate market, further adding to his uncertainties.

The Internet Responded

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One person said, “If she’s so confident that he will pay her back, she can loan him the money. Or at least she can loan him half of it. She’s asking you to take all the risks. You have nothing to guarantee he wouldn’t just take the money and not pay you back. I wouldn’t do it either.”

Another poster advised, “I generally will only lend money if I am 100% OK with not getting it back. Are you 100% OK with not getting this money back?”

He Gave an Update

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After hearing the internet’s advice, the man posted an update explaining he had spoken to his wife about the whole situation. She said she understood why he didn’t want to loan her brother the money and why he thought she shouldn’t either. He said, “I don’t think she’s giving her brother anything at this point, which I’m glad for. We’ll probably revisit the finance thing at some point in the future, but I’ve always been completely transparent with her about everything.”

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