A woman sought guidance online about her dilemma. She was uncertain whether she was justified in refusing to pay for her daughter’s college fees, given that her daughter displayed no interest in attending school or engaging in anything related to education. Here is what she had to say.
Vivian Detests School
Her youngest daughter, Vivian, expressed her disdain for school. While Vivian didn’t face any bullying issues and enjoyed socializing, she despised the early mornings, lectures, and the burden of studying and homework.
She Was Empathetic
She understood Vivian’s perspective and knew that there was nothing inherently wrong with her daughter’s dislike for school.
She Was Surprised
However, the unexpected occurred when Vivian approached her, sharing her desire to apply to a private college.
Vivian Made Her Case
According to Vivian, her interest in this particular college stemmed from her friend who had received a scholarship to attend. Additionally, the college’s proximity to a major city meant that some of Vivian’s other friends would be attending different colleges in the area.
She Was Shocked by The Cost
Intrigued, she delved into the details and discovered that while the tuition for the private college was reasonable, the caveat was the exorbitant cost of living on campus for all four years.
She Made a Counter Proposal
She then proposed an alternative path to Vivian. She explained that she would be willing to cover all of Vivian’s student debts if she started at a community college and earned the grades necessary to transfer to the private college or any other institution she might prefer in the future.
She Continued Her Reasoning
She emphasized the importance of Vivian showing emotional commitment and taking her education seriously, given her previous lack of enthusiasm.
Vivian Was Upset
Despite the community college offer being financially reasonable, Vivian, along with others, believed it to be unfair.
They Thought She Was Not Being Reasonable
They argued that since she had the means to afford the private college, she should bear the expenses as she did for Vivian’s siblings who attended four-year colleges.
The Offer Stood
Nevertheless, she reiterated her position, stating that she would support Vivian’s college expenses if she chose the community college route and demonstrated her readiness by excelling academically, just as her sister had done.
Vivian Stood Her Ground
Vivian, however, reiterated her aversion to school, studying, and lectures, even if the subject interested her. She firmly believed that college incorporated all the aspects she disliked about school.
She Needed Reassurance
She acknowledged her daughter’s perspective and reiterated her stance: she would not invest substantial funds unless Vivian displayed genuine emotional commitment and dedication to her education. Seeking advice from the internet, she wondered if she was in the wrong for refusing to pay for Vivian to attend College, knowing she would not dedicate a reasonable amount of effort to her education.
The Internet Responded
One user said, “Sounds like she wants to go to college for the social part of the experience, not to actually get an education. If she doesn’t want to go to college that’s fine but then she doesn’t get to have her parents bankroll her social life as an adult.”
Another user said, “NTA, Vivian needs to show commitment to studies before you spend thousands”
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