Parenting presents a mix of challenges and rewards. Nevertheless, it also comes with common pitfalls that parents should be wary of. An internet survey recently asked, “What screams, “I’m a bad parent?” Here are the 17 best responses:
Using Your Kid as Therapy and Then Getting Upset when They Have Issues Regulating Their Emotions
“My mom, 100%. She told me some really heavy stuff about her childhood when I was six. So I spent much of my early adulthood figuring out how to process my problems.”
“My dad would literally scream at me about how much my mom hurt him and how horrible I was for “siding with her” (I sided with the person who didn’t constantly yell at me and scare me). Though I cried today over how sad the end of his life is turning out to be. I wish he was happier. I know he was abusive, but he did change in some good ways, and I feel so bad about how alone he is when I’m not here for the holidays.”
Never Telling Your Children “No”
“Understanding and respecting the word “no” is the fundamental cornerstone of bodily autonomy (consent). One of the most important social concepts the child will have to learn. They must understand that they have the right to say no (a right they need to learn very early on) and that they have a responsibility to respect when others say no.”
Your Adult Children Don’t Talk to You
“Yeah, it took me a while to understand that my wanting to go no contact with my parents is a failure on their part. Not mine.”
“I’m essentially no contact with my parents, as is my youngest sibling. My oldest sibling is about to go low contact as well. That’s just what happens when you abuse and neglect your children.”
Zero Interest in The Child
“And when they inconvenience them, violence solves the problem by shutting the kid up again.”
“Recently, we were at a family gathering where everyone brought out their home videos from when my cousins and I were little kids. We were 6 cousins total, and in the videos, you see all my cousins playing with their dads and having fun; my dad turned around and asked, “Where is my son? Why are we not in the videos like everyone else?” I had to resist the urge to scream at him that he came home almost every day at 10 pm drunk out of his mind, and the only time we spent together was the 20-minute drive to school in the mornings. He still wonders why I’m such a terrible son and never calls him about anything.”
Invalidating Your Child’s Feelings, Struggles, And/or Mental Illness
“Fairly sure “tough love” was the agenda/thinking, but “lack of love” is what I took away from it. On the one hand, my mom’s not wrong, life is hard and definitely not fair, but lack of love is the price she paid for her teachings.”
Your Stress Isn’t Relative to Your Experience; It’s Relative to Their Experience
“A four-year-old stubbing their toe might be experiencing the worst pain in their life. Just because you snapped a femur and have had countless other injuries that have tempered your pain response and ability to manage yourself doesn’t mean stubbing a toe isn’t that bad.”
“Stress can be viewed as the difference between expectation and reality. As you mature and learn the possible outcomes of situations, your expectation broadens to include situations that aren’t ideal, and you learn how to better deal with contingencies, mistakes, and outside influences. When a situation goes bad, even the bad outcome might not be that far outside your expectation of how that situation could have occurred.”
Parents Who Can’t Apologize to A Child
“It’s ok to have emotions and lash out or be wrong, but please apologize and change.”
“I saw a therapist who worked with “troubled” kids say the difference between great parents and bad parents isn’t that great parents don’t mess up; they just apologize when they do.”
Your Own Children Being Afraid of You
“No child should be afraid of the person that looks after them nearly 24/7.”
“I really don’t think it clicks till adolescence either when you look back and realize that you were terrified of your father 24/7 as a child.”
Yelling at The Kid for Every Trivial Thing
“I once got yelled at and falsely accused of doing something because I said “no” the wrong way (I said no, but apparently, to say no properly, you need to wait a couple seconds before replying because you don’t have enough time to analyze the situation).”
“Yelling at a kid is traumatic for the kid. Could you not do it? There are better ways to communicate than yelling.”
Your Kids Never Visiting Once They Move out Or Go to College
“Both of my parents separated this year, and they will enjoy Christmas alone. They have truly reaped what they have sown.”
Saying Things Like, “You’re Such a Disappointment”
“Considering you are a direct consequence of their actions, I’d say they ruined their own lives deciding to have a child when they clearly can’t care for one properly.”
“That’s criminal to say anything like that to a child.”
Never Thinking You’re a Bad Parent
“I was assigned to arrange a free Parenting with Love and Logic course a bit late in the evening for our school. Given the time the class was, lots of parents of some of the challenging kids could make it to the class. Within a very short time, the class was full. I attended the class, too, and noticed the parents I saw were either teachers or parents of well-behaved kids. I felt so naive to think parents of naughty kids would even bother to show up. This still makes me sad to this day.”
You’re the Reason I’m Stuck with Your Father
“My favorite response to that is, “I didn’t pick him; you did!””
“This sentence annoys me because there are people out there who truly believe that if you have a child with someone, you have literally no choice but to stay with them forever. Many women stay in bad relationships to avoid the shame and criticism thrown at single moms. I wanted to be different. I left my son’s dad because the relationship was bad, and I had a tough time socially. But people who believe they have no choice annoy me. So many children get abused because of it.”
Saying, “You’re Too Young to Be Depressed,” and Ignoring Red Flags from Mental Illnesses
“This, as well as punishing your kids for self-harming or being suicidal, instead of not getting them any kind of help.”
“Oh yeah, or saying you have nothing to be depressed about because there are people out there with more difficult lives.”
Blaming Your Own Mistakes and Regrets on Your Kids
“And on the flip side, living vicariously through your children because of your mistakes and regrets.”
“It’s not my fault I was born; it’s yours. And the irony of someone who didn’t raise the kid properly saying they were a mistake is even worse.”
Adults Tell Other Adults Their Children’s Shameful Secrets for No Reason
“This was my mom. She knows nothing about my life now as an adult; I don’t tell her anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling a stranger.”
“My mom weaponized anything I told her. After I stopped giving her ammo, she complained that I never told her anything.”
Demeaning Your Children as Means of Punishment
“The shame game. Brutal.”
“Bonus points if it is punishment for something they didn’t even mean to do. Because forcing your kid to walk on eggshells around you is a great way to stop them from tripping over.”
MORE FROM SMART GAMING LAB – 17 PICKUP LINES WOMEN USE THAT MAKE MEN SQUIRM
Traditionally, the focus has been on men using pick-up lines on women. However, have you ever wondered which pick-up lines make men cringe when they come from a woman?
17 PICKUP LINES WOMEN USE THAT MAKE MEN SQUIRM
19 COMPANIES THAT REFUSED TO DIE – THESE UNLIKELY SURVIOURS ARE STILL HERE TODAY
Amongst evolving industries and disruptive forces in the market, numerous companies face the challenge of survival. However, a select few have managed to endure the test of time.
19 COMPANIES THAT REFUSED TO DIE – THESE UNLIKELY SURVIOURS ARE STILL HERE TODAY
WOMEN REVEAL 18 RULES THAT LEAD TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
When creating a solid and happy marriage, following some essential guidelines can help you build a lasting love. An internet survey recently asked married women,
WOMEN REVEAL 18 RULES THAT LEAD TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
16 THINGS BOOMERS GOT AWAY WITH WHEN THEY WERE KIDS THAT WOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE TODAY
When creating a solid and happy marriage, following some essential guidelines can help you build a lasting love. An internet survey recently asked married women,
16 THINGS BOOMERS GOT AWAY WITH WHEN THEY WERE KIDS THAT WOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE TODAY
19 THINGS WE ALL STOPPED DOING IN OUR 40S BECAUSE IT WAS TIME TO ‘GROW UP’
Entering our 40s marks a transformative phase, prompting us to bid farewell to certain habits and behaviors as we embrace maturity and personal growth.
19 THINGS WE ALL STOPPED DOING IN OUR 40S BECAUSE IT WAS TIME TO ‘GROW UP’