A mother finds herself caught in the middle of a feud between her adult children over the use of a shared pool in their gated community, causing her to question her daughter’s behavior and the future of their strained relationship.
Long Standing Feud
A mother of two adult children, a 33-year-old daughter and a 40-year-old son, was caught in the middle of their long-standing feud that had been exacerbated by her son’s wife.
A Gated Community Heaven
After the death of her husband, the woman sold her big house and purchased a townhouse in the same gated community as her daughter, whom she liked having close by. The gated community had a beautiful pool that her daughter and her daughter’s husband used all the time.
A Strong Request
The problem arose when the woman’s son asked to bring his wife and kids to the pool for the day on a weekend. The woman called her daughter to give her a heads up, but her daughter was upset and said that she and her husband intended to use the pool all weekend and that the woman should tell her son not to come.
She Threw a Fit
The woman thought her daughter’s request was ridiculous and told her that if she wanted to use the pool, she could just ignore her son and his family. Her daughter threw a fit, saying that she paid a lot to live there and that the woman was taking away her safe space by having her son and his family there.
The woman reminded her daughter that she paid the same amount to live there and that she wanted her grandbabies to enjoy the pool too. Her daughter ended the call by saying that she was there first and that the woman had to follow her, which hurt the woman deeply.
She Never Showed
The woman took her son and his family to the pool on Saturday, but her daughter never showed up. She hadn’t heard from her daughter all week, and her son asked to bring his family to the pool again the following weekend, which the woman agreed to.
No More Pool Time
She sent her daughter a text to let her know, but her daughter responded by saying that she wouldn’t be going to the pool anymore that season. The woman thought her daughter was being a brat and felt hurt by her behavior.
She’s Being Unreasonable
“I don’t understand why my daughter is being so unreasonable,” she said. “I pay just as much to live here as she does, and I should be able to use the amenities as I please. It’s not fair that she’s trying to exclude my son and his family from the pool just because she wants to use it all weekend.”
A Different Perspective
She hoped that her daughter would come around and see things from her perspective, but she also knew that their relationship had been strained for a long time and that it might take more than a pool dispute to mend it.
The Internets Opinion
This person commented, “You better go live by your son, because I’m guessing your daughter won’t want to have anything to do with you from now on. You moved into HER space, then brought someone she doesn’t feel comfortable around and just told her to deal with it.”
Another Commenter Said:
This second commenter wrote, “Call her and apologize. Call your son and explain that until he and his sister are doing better, you can’t bring them into her space, but they’re welcome to come to your house. No? Probably because they just wanted the pool anyway.”
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