Five years into their relationship, a woman and her fiancé got engaged. They were both Catholic and the woman had always dreamed of a Catholic wedding, so she expected the wedding arrangements to be simple, but this couldn’t have been further from the truth.
His Father’s Position
Despite the woman and her fiancé holding the same religious beliefs, there was a significant problem. The fiancé and his family practiced within an obscure conservative sect, and his father held a very high position, equivalent to a priest. Ironically, this made having a Catholic wedding difficult for the couple, as it would have to be conducted under the man’s father’s terms.
Destination Wedding
The woman did not wish for this, so the couple agreed to have a destination wedding. They had no desire to marry in the fiancé’s father’s church, considering the inconvenience for guests, poor aesthetics, and strictness. They still wanted a Catholic wedding but on their own terms.
An Unexpected Suggestion
One day, the couple’s wedding plans took an unexpected turn. “My fiancé’s father said that if we’re getting married with a Catholic priest, it would be better if we just do a civil wedding”, she explained. “I got hurt and mad, telling my fiancé that his father shouldn’t be deciding for us since he isn’t the one getting married.”
Tensions with His Father
However, this conflict did not come as a surprise. “His father and I never really had a good relationship”, she explained. “He refuses to accept my friend requests, always ignores me during gatherings, and during the few private masses I attended, he’d always talk badly about rich people while looking at me. I think he’s just insecure.”
A Clash of Opinions
The woman confronted her fiancé, stating that his father should not be deciding their wedding plans, especially given that he wasn’t contributing financially. She believed his opinion should hold no weight in their decisions.
The Accusations Fly
Unfortunately, the couple’s discussion escalated into a heated argument. Her fiancé accused her of disrespecting his father, and she countered by asserting that her feelings had been disregarded. He claimed she was overly controlling, but she explained that she merely wanted to have a beautiful Catholic wedding that they planned, not his father’s plans.
A Misunderstanding Unveiled
As the argument continued, the woman’s fiancé admitted that he assumed she would convert to their specific sect of Catholicism because he was the son of a priest.
An Unbelievable Request
The woman was shocked to hear this. She believed that their shared Catholic views should have been more than enough, and she was not willing to join the man’s more conservative sect, especially under his father’s terms.
Stalemate and a Decision
The couple were both unwilling to compromise on their views. In frustration, the woman proposed a minimal civil wedding with only two witnesses and no family invited. It was a drastic measure that deeply upset her fiancé, and she began to wonder if she had overreacted.
An Online Jury
The woman headed online, asking for advice as to whether she had overreacted with her abrupt decision. However, the internet jury’s verdict quickly became clear – everyone was acting foolishly. “Five years of dating, yet you’ve never discussed this? You’re both ridiculous”, criticized one reader.
Never Discussed
This sentiment was commonplace in the comment section. “Were there really never any discussions about the role religion would have in your lives going forward?”, someone asked in shock. “If he’s saying he assumed you would convert, it doesn’t sound like it.”
Cancel the Wedding
Some readers suggested abrupt action. “Time to cancel the wedding”, one reader suggested. “He expected you to convert. You expected him to get married in a Catholic Church. You compromised with a destination wedding. He pushed for more. He will continue to push for everything to be on his father’s terms for the rest of your lives. Are you prepared for that?”
Abort Mission
To the woman’s dismay, suggestions to break up were surprisingly common. “There are lots of red flags here”, another commenter pointed out. “Your fiancé’s father sounds controlling, and your fiancé seems complicit to his father. Abort.”
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