A woman struggling with infertility faces a painful situation when her friend Alessia asks for financial assistance for her IVF treatment and makes comments that Sarah feels are directed at her. Here is what she had to say:
Struggled to Conceive
Sarah, a 35-year-old woman, had been struggling with infertility and had been unable to conceive a child with her ex-husband despite trying everything, leading to their eventual divorce and his remarriage to a younger woman who was able to have children with him.
Solace in Friendship
This situation was particularly painful for Sarah, as she felt blamed by her family for the failed marriage and her infertility, and she found solace in her friendship with Alessia, who was also struggling with infertility and was planning to undergo IVF treatment.
$12,000 Worth of Support!
When Alessia asked Sarah for financial assistance for her upcoming IVF cycle, Sarah agreed to write her a check for $12,000 with no strings attached. However, the next day, Sarah received a message from a mutual friend, Carol, with a screenshot of a conversation with Alessia where she expressed her fears of ending up alone and childless like Sarah, who was 35 and without a family.
Hurt and Shocked
Sarah was hurt and shocked by Alessia’s comments, which she felt were directed at her, and she canceled the check immediately. She didn’t feel like Alessia deserved help after mocking such an incredibly painful journey for Sarah.
An Inside Joke?
Alessia was upset and tried to explain that she didn’t mean it that way and that it was supposed to be an inside joke between two infertile women, but Sarah refused to write another check.
An argument ensued, and Alessia’s husband accused Sarah of not being supportive of her friend, while Sarah felt offended by Alessia’s comments and mocked for her unfortunate circumstances.
Although some of Sarah’s friends thought she was being oversensitive, she decided to put some distance between herself and Alessia for the sake of her mental health. She realized that even those who were supportive of her could cause her harm, and she was still hurt by Alessia’s behavior.
Sarah shared her story on Reddit and received an outpouring of support and compassion from strangers, which helped her feel less alone and more relieved. She even shared the thread with Carol, who laughed and was relieved that Sarah used a throwaway account instead of her real name.
Sensitive and Painful
In the end, Sarah learned that infertility was a sensitive and painful topic, and that even well-meaning friends could cause unintentional harm. She hoped that she and Alessia could eventually reconcile, but she knew that it would take time and effort to rebuild their friendship.
The Internet Responded
This commenter wrote, “OP needs to hold Carol near and dear to her heart cause that right there is a true friend. She told OP what she needed to hear even if it meant falling out with Alessia.”
More Internet Responses
Another person commented, “$12,000? No strings attached? She should be “kissing your feet” and not talking about you! You did absolutely right, OP! Not a jerk! They don’t deserve you, hope you’ll find better and real friends in the future.”
A Final Comment
This last person wrote this opinion, “I think her “friend” has played on the knowledge that OP is sensitive about pregnancy, and tugged on her heart strings, knowing she would help rather than let another woman go through all the pain. But OP, definitely not the jerk. And anyone who can make a comment like that (which is not a joke, it’s nasty, and it was behind your back so wasn’t meant to make you giggle with her) is not your friend, not a very nice person. It’s disgusting behaviour.”
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