A woman lived with her husband and their youngest daughter, whom the woman had often struggled to bond with. With her eldest child recently moving out, the woman hatched a plan to improve her relationship with her young daughter, a plan that would unfortunately backfire.
Missing Her Eldest
The woman’s eldest daughter was her best friend, and she had missed her dearly since she had moved out. “We did everything together, and we liked the same things”, the woman lamented. “I love my youngest daughter equally, but it has always been difficult for me to bond with her because we´re too different.”
Husband and Daughter Bond
On the other hand, the woman’s husband shared a deep bond with their youngest daughter, just like he did with their oldest. They shared common interests in games, music, and anime, which brought them even closer.
Bonding Through Gardening
The woman knew that she had to find a way to foster a bond similar to the one her husband clearly had with their daughter. She realized that they had never tried gardening together, an activity that she and her eldest daughter had always loved. So, she suggested the activity to her youngest.
Her Daughter’s Resistance
Unfortunately, this suggestion was not met with enthusiasm. The youngest daughter immediately rejected the idea, but the woman forced her into it anyway, hoping that some patience from both parties would pay off.
An Unpleasant Experience
Unfortunately, the woman’s hopes did not come to fruition. “She complained ALL the time, that the dirt was gross, that the sun was gonna burn her, and every time I turned around, I saw her using her phone”, the woman remembered.
Failed Attempt at Quality Time
Whilst the daughter was indifferent and simply didn’t enjoy the activity, the woman was very upset. She had hoped that the gardening project would be the bonding experience they both needed, yet the activity had only served to sour their relationship further.
Frustration and Hurtful Words
Her frustration led the woman to snap, telling her daughter to leave if she disliked the activity so much. Her daughter took this suggestion quite literally, retreating to her room to play on her computer.
Anger Leads to Grounding
Frustrated by her daughter’s apparent indifference, the woman grounded her daughter, denying her access to games for a week. She felt hurt that her daughter left her alone and unappreciated.
Husband’s Perspective
However, the woman’s husband defended his daughter. “He said that if I really knew her, I would know that she doesn’t like outdoor activities and that I should’ve tried to bond by doing something she likes instead of forcing something that I like on her”, she wrote.
Conflicting Opinions
The woman lamented, feeling that it was unfair that her daughter clearly favored her father. However, her husband accused the woman of trying to mold their youngest into a replica of their oldest daughter. The family dynamics became strained as both the husband and daughter gave her the silent treatment.
Seeking Advice on Her Woes
Feeling isolated, the woman headed to social media to seek advice. Unfortunately for her, everybody seemed to agree with her husband. “Why don’t you speak to her about what SHE likes to do?”, questioned one reader. “She is not your programable robot but is a human being. You’re in the wrong here, and you need to let go of your unrealistic expectations.”
She Was in the Wrong
The vote that the woman had acted poorly was unanimous. “So you ask her to do something she won’t like, she declines, you force her, and somehow still think that it’ll be a good time?”, another person questioned. “Then, when it’s not fun, you snap and ground her, and you think she should be sorry?”
Make an Effort
It was clear to most readers that the woman expected her daughter to make an effort, yet she wasn’t willing to do the same herself. “You don’t have anything in common so she has to pretend to like the thing you like?”, a commenter accused. “Why don’t you at least pretend to like the things she likes if bonding is so important to you.”
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