A man, who had been married to his wife for two years, faced a challenging situation concerning his stepdaughter, whose upbringing was governed by a strict agreement set by his wife.
The Early Agreement
In the early days of their relationship, the wife had made it clear that the man was not to play a parental role in her daughter’s life, given her age. The daughter already had a father, and the man’s role was to be an adult figure without any say in her upbringing.
However, as time passed, the stepdaughter’s behavior became problematic. She faced school expulsions and had to move in with them to attend a new high school.
Her Antics Escalated
Her actions escalated with time into far more dangerous territory. This led to two car accidents, one occurring while she was intoxicated, which forced the couple to remortgage their home to cover legal expenses.
A Humiliating Court Appearance
The legal system got involved due to the girl’s DUI. They all had to appear in court, where a judge criticized the parenting of the man and woman, leaving the man feeling humiliated and powerless.
Biting His Tongue
The man kept quiet despite feeling furious, considering he was not supposed to be parenting the girl. “I’m not a legal expert at all, but from movies and shows, I know that judges can jail you for arguing, so I bit my tongue and took it”, he wrote. “It was humiliating”.
Venting to Friends
One night, while out with friends, the man shared his frustrations with his friends. “I complained about how much money I’ve spent bailing her out of trouble and that I can’t wait until she turns 18 so she can face her own consequences”, the man wrote.
A Furious Spouse
Word of the man’s complaints reached his wife, who reacted strongly. She was angered by his remarks, despite his belief that he hadn’t said anything wrong.
Seeking Temporary Separation
The argument escalated to the point where the man spent a night in a motel for the night. He hoped that it was a temporary move, but he was also temporarily relieved from further confrontations.
Reluctance To Kick Her Out
The man reflected on the situation he was left in: “We’re not kicking her out, and considering she doesn’t work, she’ll be living with us for a while. I’m just waiting for the day she’s an adult so I won’t be yelled at by any more judges.”
Confessing To The Internet
The man headed online, confessing once again that he couldn’t wait for the young woman to reach adulthood and leave, but admitting that he felt wrong for feeling like this. Readers were quick to defend the man’s feelings, with one writing “If you’re not a parental figure, why are you paying for these things at all? You’re a saint for putting up with this.”
The Wife’s Double Standards
Readers were also quick to remind the man of his wife’s own rules, which he was not following by bailing the daughter out financially. “Your wife made it crystal clear that parenting this girl is not your job or responsibility”, they wrote. “Fixing her messes comes under the role of parenting. So you really don’t have to wait till she’s 18 – she’s already not your problem.”
A Jail Of His Own Making
Other commenters poked fun at the man, especially in regard to how he kept quiet in the face of a judge. “Dude, why are so worried about being jailed?”, one commenter started. “Trust me — you are already in a prison of your own making”, they laughed.
He Was Naive
One reader was quick to point out that the man was being incredibly naive, anticipating that everything would calm down in a couple of years. “You should probably be rethinking your whole marriage, because this is not going to stop when she turns 18”, they predicted.
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