A parent had an 11-year-old daughter in 6th grade, who had been putting in extra effort in school to improve her math skills.
A Budding Mathematician
Despite never being great at math, the parent’s daughter had recently worked particularly hard at studying it. “She has gotten over 80% in every class test so far, by sheer blood sweat, and tears”, the parent wrote. “She never used to be good at school and exams. She’s of course an amazing kid in a million ways, but really struggled with math, and other subjects as well.”
The Teacher’s Motivation System
The math teacher of the daughter employed a motivational system by posting the names of two students who had worked the hardest during the week on a pinboard. These students are rewarded with a small treat, like a chocolate bar. The parent initially believed this system was effective in motivating struggling students.
An Upset Child
One week, the parent’s daughter had been crying continuously about how she never wins the motivation competition.
Unrecognized Effort
The parent shared their daughter’s confusion after hearing this. They knew that she had put an incredible amount of work into math and had improved a lot, thinking that she deserved recognition.
The Parent Inquired
Curious, the parent inquired to the child about the selection criteria. The daughter explained that it often favored students who did poorly on tests but showed slight improvement.
A Heated Parent-Teacher Meeting
The situation came to a head during the first parent-teacher meeting of the year. The parent voiced their concerns to the math teacher, who responded by suggesting that the daughter was only successful because of her “natural talent.”
A Heated Reaction
The parent did not react kindly to this comment. The parent explained: “I just blew up on her. I yelled at her and called her an idiot, saying she had no idea how much my daughter studied even though she was only in 6th grade. I said it’s really unfair to favor kids who don’t get good grades.”
Initial Feelings
Initially, the parent felt proud that they had stuck up for their daughter. They believed that it was important that all children are recognized for their hard work in school, not just those achieving poor grades.
Feelings Of Guilt And Doubt
However, once they had cooled off, the parent began grappling with feelings of guilt for their outburst. They wondered if the teacher’s perspective might hold some validity, given their lack of expertise in teaching and their personal involvement as the parent of the child in question.
Asking Online Friends
The parent headed online to a community platform, sharing their story and asking for words of wisdom. However, they were probably not aware of how much anger they would attract. “Why in the world would you scream, cuss, and abuse your child’s teacher over a student recognition system?”, one person asked. “You acted like an unhinged psycho.”
Unanimous Disapproval
Almost everyone reading the post was shocked at the parent’s actions. “You’re right, the teacher doesn’t know how hard your daughter works”, one person stated. “It’s completely reasonable to be frustrated by this, but you’re also a grown-up, and nobody is in danger. Don’t yell and curse at anyone, especially teachers who already have it hard and are under terrible conditions.”
The Reason Teachers Quit
Many people focused on the teacher’s perspective in this altercation. “You are the reason teachers are leaving in droves”, accused one commenter. “Is this how you act at work when you meet an obstacle?”
A Counterproductive Attitude
Other readers commented on how the parent’s outburst will only make their child’s life more difficult at school. One person wrote: “You’ve just ensured she won’t be getting the prize for a while because all the teachers will say if they give your daughter the prize now, you’ll think blowing up worked, so, therefore, some other kid will get it. Apologise. Profusely.”
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