A woman’s refusal to let her brother and his family stay with her after getting evicted due to their history of irresponsibility and lack of appreciation for her help leads to a family divide, with accusations of selfishness and not helping out family in need.
A Family Divide
A 22-year-old woman, the youngest of four siblings, and her husband are facing a family divide after refusing to let her brother, his girlfriend, and their four kids stay with them after being evicted. The siblings are aged 30, 32, and 33, respectively, and between them, they have a combined number of 14 children.
A Big Difference
None of the other siblings went to college, and they all work lower-paying entry-level jobs. In contrast, the woman graduated last year and works as a nurse, while her husband works on planes.
They’re Better Off
Their household income is around $200k, while the average income in their area is around $80k, making them relatively well-off compared to their siblings. The woman’s parents like to host big family functions every holiday and bring the whole family together. However, the woman’s siblings have always asked her for favors, mostly to babysit, and they always borrow money from their parents but never pay it back.
The woman had a “don’t ask me for anything” stance for the past six years since her siblings are the type to ask for favors but never offer to help when needed. The woman’s oldest brother is being evicted and asked if he, his girlfriend, and their four kids could stay with her and her husband, who own a 4-bed 2-bath home.
A Valid Reason
However, the woman refused, citing her siblings’ habit of settling somewhere and not paying rent, letting their kids destroy every rental they live in, and refusing to leave.
They Were Angry
The woman’s brother and his girlfriend were angry, and they blew up at her and her husband at their mother’s birthday party last week. They’re now going to have to stay at a shelter, and they’re saying it’s the woman’s fault, but she thinks it’s their own lack of responsibility. Her other two siblings chimed in, agreeing with her brother, and they think she’s a jerk.
The woman thinks her siblings suck, and she doesn’t want her house getting torn up by their “heathens.” She knows that if she let them move in, she’d end up having to evict them, and they wouldn’t pay for anything at all.
Is She Wrong?
She also thinks it’s not fair that they always ask her for money because she makes more money than they do, and they treat her and her husband like they’re some kind of upper-class snobs because they worked hard and made good choices in life to be able to buy a house early. The woman is now wondering if she’s the jerk for not helping her siblings, specifically her brother.
A Sarcastic Gift
She’s offering to pay for everyone to get a vasectomy/tubes tied this Christmas and giving her brother enough money to cover the red roof inn for a week. That’s all she’s doing for anyone, and they better not call her ever again because she’s not answering.
Big Family Rifts
The situation has caused a significant divide in the family, with the woman’s siblings accusing her of being selfish and not helping out family in need. However, the woman is standing her ground, citing her siblings’ history of irresponsibility and lack of appreciation for her help. The woman is now seeking an unbiased perspective on whether she’s in the wrong for not helping her siblings.
The Internet Responded
This commenter wrote, “It’s NOT your responsibility. Your brother made the choices he did and made himself homeless. That’s not on you.”
Another person posted, “You have no obligation to help them, especially if they don’t help you. 4 kids are expensive, but it should be possible to feed and house them if both brother and gf work. If they live in a very expensive area, they need to think about a less expensive one.”
A Final Comment
This last commenter said, “You are NOT responsible for ANYONE but yourself (and sometimes your husband). Your brother chose his lot in life and has to live with any consequences that come from bad choices. It’s sucks to be them, but still not your responsibility. And don’t let them play the “but it’s faaaaamilyyyy” card to try to guilt trip you. You didn’t choose his wife and you didn’t impregnate her 4 times. You didn’t choose their jobs or where they live or anything about their life. They chose it, it’s all on them.”
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