A woman and her wife planned to swap houses with her mom, but they ended up living at the mom’s house with her, and they rented out their old apartment. However, her half-brother thought they were scamming her. Here is what the woman had to say:
Her Mother Suggested They Swap Houses
The woman said, “My wife and I are in our early thirties, and we were living in a 2-bedroom condo in the city. It was pricey due to the location, but small. My mom, who is 66, was living in the home she’d inherited from my grandparents with my younger sister, who is 24 years old. We were looking to upgrade to a bigger place since my wife was pregnant with our second child, and my mom suggested that we trade houses.”
They Came To An Agreement
The legal and financial processes for moving house advanced significantly, but the plan changed when the mom faced a major health setback. They all decided it would be beneficial for her to reside in the mother-in-law suite of the family house instead while renting out the condo for retirement income.
They Thought It Was A Fair Deal
Technically, the mom owned the condo, but she didn’t live there. The family home was valued at $750,000 and the condo at $600,000, but with her mom living rent-free with them, the upgrades they made to her suite, and their assistance in managing the condo as a rental property, they deemed it a balanced arrangement.
Her Half-Brother Thought It Was Unfair
Additionally, the woman’s sister stayed part-time at their home when she was not with her significant other or traveling for work. However, the woman’s older half-brother, aged 44, who lived in a different part of the country, was not happy with this situation
He Didn’t Know About It At First
He was the son of the woman’s mom from her first marriage. Unaware of the details until the move was well underway, he and the woman did not communicate much, and the mom failed to inform him earlier. Initially, he likely assumed they were just moving in with their mom.
He Wasn’t Close To Them
The woman explained, “Now he’s upset at being denied a home that’s his as well. It’s technically both our childhood homes, but he only lived in it full-time from when he was 11 (when my grandparents died and my parents married) to when he was 14 (when he decided to live with his dad for the most part). I lived in it from 0-22, and even before we moved here, I spent way more time there and with our mom, since I still live in the area.”
She Was Close To Her Mom
The woman and her wife had also remained actively involved in her mom’s life, while the half-brother lived thousands of miles away and had maintained a distance from their mom since his teenage years.
He Was Resentful
Although the move had been completed, with the family settled in their new house and her mom in the refreshed mother-in-law suite, the half-brother continued to harbor resentment. During his recent visit, he openly complained, making passive-aggressive remarks about sleeping on an air mattress “in his own house.”
They Argued
The woman explained, “I said it had been a fair trade, not a gift, and he hadn’t been around, and he said I’d scammed our mom into it, and he should have had a cut of it and been informed. We ended up getting into a shouting match about it. He said he was the eldest, and he should have had a cut of it and been informed about my mom’s plans. I told him to grow up and that it was a you snooze, you lose situation.”
Was The Woman In The Wrong?
The woman felt it was a fair trade with her mom, and given her half-brother’s lack of involvement in any of their lives, she felt he had no right to complain about the situation. The woman believed she was in the right, but turned to the internet for advice to be sure.
The Internet Responded
One person said, “He gets his “cut” of it when his mother dies. Like he was always going to. When she dies, he gets part of the money from the sale of the condo, which is exactly the same thing as getting part of the money from the sale of the house. Point out to him that he’s been mentally spending his inheritance before his mother is even in the ground.”
Another Person Commented
“A cut? A cut of what? The expenses of making it safe for an elderly person? What a greedy jerk. At least now you know what behavior to expect when someone dies.”
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