A Lazy Inactive Brother Who Went out Of His Way to Avoid Family Activities Did Not Receive an Invite to A Family Holiday, Furious Over the Decision, He Demands Answers

A man wonders if he made a mistake by excluding his brother from a vacation with their other siblings. They planned an outdoor trip, but the brother has never shown interest in such activities before

Here is what he had to say.

They Loved the Outdoors

Outdoor Circuit Training
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Our parents were always very active people and encouraged us to be very active as well.

The Brother Was Different

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The man and most of the siblings thrived in this lifestyle, but one of our brothers hated it. He’ll be called Tom. Tom hated being outside, exercising, heat, wildlife, etc…

The Brother Had Free Reign

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The parents always encouraged him to at least try something before deciding, but they let him skip things he insisted he didn’t want to do.

A Trip Was Planned

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One of the other brothers, closest in age, wanted to do a snorkeling trip together.

Other Siblings Were Invited

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While planning, they decided to invite their youngest siblings as well, if their parents would pitch in a bit and were okay with them watching them.

Tom Was Not Asked

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They didn’t invite Tom (22) though, because they knew he’d hate this trip and figured he’d be busy with post graduation plans and everything. In addition to snorkeling, they would also be hiking, rock climbing and free diving on this trip.

The Activities Were Not Suitable

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All of these activities were things Tom expressly hates or even cannot safely do.

He Was Upset

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Tom heard about the trip from their parents and is hurt that they didn’t invite him.

He Tried to Give an Explanation

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The man explained that the trip would involve a lot of getting up early (which Tom hates), a lot of physical activity (again Tom hates), and very little to no lounging and comfort (Tom’s main priorities when vacationing).

He Tried to Compromise

Ability To Memorize
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Tom said he could still come and do his own thing and “meet them for dinner”, but they aren’t planning on hitting any restaurants.

He Could Still Come but With Caveats

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He said if Tom wants he can book his own room on the same dates, but they know he gets really upset when he is woken up early, so they won’t share with him because they don’t want to deal with that.

He Felt Hard Done By

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Tom feels like they’re bullying him and being unreasonable for no reason, but they aren’t trying to do that. They just want to have a good time.

He Continued to Be Upset

man debt
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Tom says it’s ridiculous that their brother in middle school and sister with special needs are considered better company than him, which isn’t what they said at all, but that’s how Tom is interpreting everything. He began to wonder if not inviting the brother was wrong, so he sought advice from the internet.

The internet responded:

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One user said, “I’d say YTA because if I was in his shoes I’d be feeling pretty hurt that my family, the people I grew up with, excluded me without even giving me an option to discuss it. You just made an assumption. I can see how that’s hurtful. I think the fact that he had to hear about it from the parents and not from you…speaks a bit too much here. Why the secret?”

Another User Commented

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” Just ask? He would probably hear the details and not want to go, but at least he was considered and given the option to decline. It’s honestly basic manners.”

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Source: Reddit

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