Jane’s boyfriend, David, criticized her alternative look, after initially lying that he liked it, and caused a rift in their relationship. Here is what she had to say:
Meet “Jane,” a 24-year-old woman who has been dating her boyfriend, “David,” 26, for about eight months. Jane has always had a very alternative look, with colorful hair, facial piercings, tattoos, and very dark and bold makeup. This is how she feels most comfortable and happy.
He Didn’t Like Her Look
When they started dating, David said he liked her look, even though he himself dresses very basically. He even hyped her up when she showed him new makeup looks or outfits. However, a few days ago, as Jane was getting ready for work, David kept making weird faces at her. She asked him what was up, and he said nothing but kept shaking his head.
He Avoided Her Kiss
This really irritated Jane because he was obviously bothered, but she wasn’t going to entertain his huffy behavior. She finished getting ready and tried to kiss him goodbye like she always does, but he just turned away from her. This really hurt her feelings, and she couldn’t even lie, she did cry a little bit on the way to work. She tried to text him during her breaks, but he didn’t respond at all.
She Lost It
When Jane finally got home, and David still wouldn’t say anything to her, she lost it. She asked him what his problem was and why he’s treating her this way. He motioned to her clothes and simply said, “that.” She obviously didn’t know what he meant, so she asked what about it, and he said something like, “I just can’t believe you’d wear that to work.”
She Was Fighting Back Tears
Jane was confused because this is what she always wears. She told him that, and he was like, “yeah, I know, it’s so unprofessional, you’ll never accomplish anything looking like that.” She couldn’t believe he said that to her. She was fighting back tears at this point, trying to tell him that her job allows it and that she’s not the only one at work that dresses like this. He just kept repeating himself and said that clearly it’s not that good of a job if they allow her to look like that.
He Called Her “Selfish”
Jane couldn’t take it anymore and left to go to her sister’s house. He called her, and she told him to get lost, that she wasn’t going to change her look because he didn’t like it. He called her selfish, saying that she’s ruining their future together because she can’t sacrifice one thing so they could have a good life together. Even though her job allows it and it’s a good paying office job. There was no reason for her to sacrifice anything. After that, she hung up on him and ignored him the rest of the night.
The Sister Agreed
Jane explained everything to her sister, who agreed that her look is unprofessional, but if it doesn’t cause issues at work, then it shouldn’t matter. The next day, Jane had about a million messages from David saying how selfish she’s being and ruining their futures. She started feeling really guilty for leaving. She felt like she wasn’t wrong here, but even her sister kind of agreed with him, so she didn’t know.
She Turned to the Internet
Jane didn’t know what to do about the situation so ended up turning to the internet. She posted on a popular internet forum on Reddit for advice. These are a few of the responses:
The Internet Responds
One person commented, “Sacrifice him so that you can have a good life apart.”
More Internet Responses
Another person commented, “For real, sounds like she’s dodging a bullet on this one. He probably thought it was a “phase” or a “hobby” and he could change her eventually.”
A Final Comment
This last person said, “Option three. He deliberately chose her so he could force her to change into what he wanted her to be. A lot of men do that, most just do it on a smaller scale. And women happily goes along with it usually.”
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