The man’s daughter was in pain and discomfort because of her long hair, which her mother wanted her to grow long as a symbol of her femininity. He took her to get her hair cut but was berated by his wife’s family.
He Has A 14 Year Old Daughter
The man explained, “I have a daughter. Me and my wife have been separated for over five years now and have split custody over her, however she prefers to stay with me.”
The Wife’s Family Likes Her To Grow Her Hair
He is unsure whether it is cultural. However, his wife and her family have always insisted that their daughter should let her hair grow. He explained, “They believe the longer your hair is, the more feminine you are and they always take pride in how long their own hair is.”
She Has Very Long Hair
The daughter had gone along with her family’s wishes and her hair is very long, past her thighs.
His Daughter Hated Her Hair
The daughter was staying with him over the weekend and one night he noticed her crying while brushing her hair. He asked what was wrong and she began to cry even harder. She explained that she hated her hair, that it takes hours for her to brush it and makes her hot and tired.
Her Mother Was Strict About Her Hair
His daughter said that she also wanted to dye her hair but her mother wouldn’t let her because it would ruin it. He added, “I hugged her and told her not to worry and I will think of something.”
She Had A Hair Appointment
He called his sister and explained the situation. His sister then booked an appointment at a hair stylist for the daughter. She had her hair cut to just about shoulder length and donated the rest. She also had some highlights and was very happy.
The Family Was Furious
When the daughter arrived home, his wife immediately called him and the family berated him and his daughter. She ended up going back to stay with him.
Her Mother Took To Social Media
His wife stated that he was a horrible father and “have stripped his daughter out of her womanhood”. He added, “Even my parents called me about it and said I shouldn’t have taken her to the hairdresser without discussing it first.”
Was He In The Wrong?
Was he wrong to cut her hair without her mother’s permission? Should he have handled the situation differently?
He Turned To The Internet For Advice
One user commented, “They are more concerned about what others think than what’s going on with your daughter!”
Another Person Shared Their Opinion
“What’s Lily supposed to do with this enforced symbol of “womanhood” she’s carrying at age 14? It sounds like an outdated burden and repressive. Lily must feel so light and happy with her new haircut.”
Someone Else Said
“I don’t find a problem with parents setting some limits on hair like no dying (after all, some of those chemicals are carcinogens) or no mohawks. Yet, when a parent has a child totally under their thumb and won’t let them express any individuality at all, that’s a huge red flag to me.”
Another User Supported Him
“You are doing what’s right for your daughter. SHE is the one who makes decisions about her own body. Your ex’s outdated ideas of femininity are irrelevant. The ONLY relevant opinion is your daughters. Kudos to you for listening to her and standing up for her wants and needs.”
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